little girl. don’t fool yourself. he’s calling and texting. getting all up in your business because he wants to fuck you. nothing more. that man doesn’t want a relationship with you. he’s not interested in you or your problems. he doesn’t care if you’re happy or what makes you sad. girl, all you are to him is an easy, yes. a way to get off without jerking on it himself. it doesn’t matter if he’s been using you to get off for one night or 3 years. you are a hook up. a booty call. a fuck buddy, if you’re lucky. you mean nothing to him and this is all it’s ever going to be.
so tell me something. why are you investing time, effort, energy into wishing or wanting things to be more than they are? if you haven’t figured it out yet, let me help you. it’s because you are damaged. there is something broken inside of you. you don’t value yourself or your sexuality. you are accepting marginal sex because you don’t understand what reciprocated emotional investment is. who hurt you? what happened that made you think giving up your body was powerful, when the exact opposite is true. you are more than the bitch on her knees who gives it up at his whim.
you will never have a relationship with any of the men you’ve fucked, so cut them off and out of your life. move on or at least stop the fucking car. figure out what baggage you are carrying and get rid of things that don’t fit you anymore, are out of style or are damaged. act like you are packing for a trip and only take the things which are multi functional, bring you joy and make you look good when you wear them. take care of them, and pack them away carefully because they are an investment from your past into your future.
your future is about personal empowerment. it’s about self pleasure. it’s about you making the rules and deciding what you want and then looking for the people and person who fits it. you will not bend to their will. you will either fit together or you will let them go. everyone makes mistakes, but choosing to make the same one over and over is pathological and you are better than that. and if you don’t think so, it just shows how far you have to go and how much work you have to do, before you are ready to have anyone in your life in a meaningful or sexual way.
get right by yourself. it will attract people to you who should be there for the right reasons. invest in yourself. no one else will unless you show them you’re worth it. and you are.even if you don’t know it yet. you don’t have to plan for it or prepare for it. you simply start it. now. no need to wait unless you want to start the self sabotaging again. you know better. you are better. and somewhere along the way, you forgot. you started believing other people instead of that little voice inside of your head that told you things were not supposed to be this way. give that voice a chance to sing or even scream. silently accepting the shit you have, is no longer an option. you know better so do better.