A friends daughter married her girlfriend over the week-end and it made me think about how parents respond to the fact that their kids are gay. Most parents will universally agree that having kids is a defining moment in their lives and raising a child is the most important thing they’ve ever done and you can not imagine life without them, once they are here. They don’t really understand people who make a choice to not have them, after they’ve experienced personally it, in spite of what their opinions were about it before hand.
So parents who have made the choice to have kids, might struggle with the idea of their children NOT having children, biological or otherwise. A child’s sexual orientation doesn’t matter to most parents as much as their desire to have them provide you with future grandchildren and being gay, used to mean that chances of grandkid’s were slim to none.
With the way the world is today, gay couples who want babies can have them and it is totally accepted. As a parent, I would be upset learning that my kids didn’t want children, over them being not being married or in a same sex union. It all boils down to my selfish desire to experience the joys of a baby you love more than life itself, except this time without the responsibility of ensuring they grow up into upstanding and productive citizens.
Parents want their children to be happy , to be treated well and to be loved by someone who loves them as much as you do. The gender of that person doesn’t really matter. What would be of more importance to me personally, is knowing they want to one day have children. Otherwise I’ll suffer from a severe and prolonged case of granny envy because the idea of grandkids is what got me through raising them through their teenage years. I would resent that dream being taken from me. It would crush me. It would take me years to adjust to the new reality that I wouldn’t be someones Gramma.
I don’t care who they choose to live with,or have a life with, have sex with with, as long as I eventually get my grand baby. So when people come out to their families, they might want to consider laying their future family management plans out there are well, not in detail, but at least in partial disclosure, because to the majority of moms, that’s what we’re actually interested in.