life is going along all hunky dory then i get a notification on my phone reminding me it was your birthday and it pissed me off that i forgot to delete it, like i did everything else. i thought i lost a best friend and it was a reminder that you had never even been real at all because real friends simply don’t go away. it’s funny. the man who broke my heart, is still in my life. he’s apparently not going anywhere unless i push him away again and yet you, who i thought would always be here, have been gone for a million years.
i hated the fact your name surprised me today. i wish i didn’t still think about you when i am looking for guidance or needing support. but you’ll slowly disappear again, until i forget that i shared too much with someone who i shouldn’t have. fuck.