fearless

SO BUSY…yet so excited/happy. thrilled to get some wonderful news work related on something that has been taking up a lot of my time. now it’s off my plate and it means more money. gotta love when more education equals more money. kids? stay in school. take more courses. every year goes by anyway, you may as well keep learning. keep your mind agile and working!

and i spent money on myself. which i normally hate doing and will find any reason not to. plus it should be practical or useful and certainly needed. except for lingerie. a woman can never own too much and it does not have to be practical and useful for anything other than inspiring a man to take it off you. really. but this was not lingerie. it was much much …bigger…and the last thing from practical, i have ever bought in my life.

to be honest? it is 100% recreational and was bought for the simple fact that it made me completely happy and excited. well, it did after i was nauseous over the fact i was actually going to buy it and had made the decision to. in that moment i felt slightly more than ill, but not quite to about to barf…but close. now? now, i’m nervous happy. worried excited. lol… i’m feeling too many things which are contradictory and i’m a wreck, but a thrilled one..lol. i still can’t believe i did it.

you should do something like that. something that makes your stomach upset because you are going far outside your comfort zone and you can’t even remember what it felt like to be that crazy. spontaneously self indulgent. god, i hope it doesn’t bite me in the ass – speaking of which, i’ve made a decision about that too. specifically getting mine tapped more often. it’s not going to be an ideal situation, but it will be better than nothing.

and who am i kidding, it will be far superior to what has become my normal and i truly feel it will be something sustainable for the short term and make things better for the big picture. i’m simply happier when my physical needs are being met. frustration levels plummet and i am accommodating in every way. kind of makes it stupid to not. since monogamy is not working as it was designed to, i have to change. so i’m going to. at least i am right now since i feel infallible.

 

 

This entry was posted in Health and wellness, Relationships, Who I am and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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