the non erection

as a woman, i place a great deal of importance on a mans state of erection, in knowing if he is aroused or not. foreplay serves to excite both people and when you feel a mans cock and he is flaccid, it makes you question his excitement or enjoyment of what you are doing to him and with him. i realize things change for men as they get older, but it’s not something i am able to discuss with people i know as it seems to be a tender topic for men who do not like talking about a soft dick while enjoying a sexual encounter.

if the only time a man gets hard enough for penetration, is at the time he is also ready to ejaculate, then that is a MAJOR issue for his female partner. it takes away all aspects of the psychological arousal which comes with seeing his body respond to what you are doing, as well as the physical arousal of enjoying an actual penetrative sexual encounter, which many women need in order to achieve orgasm.

i see this type of a flaccid cock, during a sexual encounter as a male sex issue, related to an underlying medical issue which is concerning. but it may simply be a normal part of a mans ageing process. though i find that hard to countenance. a healthy man, gets a  sustainable erection. and i don’t understand a man not seeking medical intervention if his erections are not as rigid as they once were or if they are totally absent during arousal.

i hate to be a debbie downer, but as a woman, i don’t want to have a sexual encounter with a man who can not achieve an erection. what’s the point? i want and need the erection otherwise i am comfortable with servicing my own needs with the assistance of online media outlets and an interesting  assortment of silicon tools, designed for such an occasion. that soft cock, impacts my arousal, because it mentally pulls me into questioning why he isn’t hard.

so, as a public service to all women, if you are having erection issues. if you do not stay hard, have trouble getting hard, then do not look for sexual gratification from a woman until you fix your mechanical issues. if you ask us to go for a drive in a sports car and then sit us in a parked volvo, we are going to get out and walk home and never accept an offer to get into your car again, even when you tell us you fixed your issues and perception problems.

your soft cock is an issue for the women you invite to share a bed. get it fixed or go solo. hans solo. because the force is no longer with you and we don’t want to get sexually aroused then be frustrated by something you knew would happen. why do that to someone? it’s mean and inconsiderate. and it makes you out to be an asshole who only cared about his needs and not a partners. get it fixed before you get into a woman’s bed.




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17 Responses to the non erection

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    Ah, this is such a touchy subject, ain’t it? The most horrifying thing for most guys is to be naked with a woman and not be able to get it up or keep it up. The woman will always lie and say she understands that it just happens and that its okay… but it’s damned obvious that it isn’t okay and she will almost always assume that the lack of a boner is due to a lack of excitement and desire for her. Sometimes it is… but not always. Just like almost anything can take a woman out of the game and turn her heat completely off, it doesn’t take much to do it to us and, honestly, if you or any woman believes this shouldn’t happen, you don’t know shit about men and how our bodies work, sorry to say.

    I don’t make any excuses for your husband, my dearest Rouged… but as a man and one who has had this happen over a lifetime of having sex, I’m telling you that it happens to the best of us; it’ll happen if we have too much sex; it’ll happen is we aren’t having enough sex; medications will do it, physical ailments will do it; damnation, it happened to me yesterday for a moment – but I had a stroke that’s affected things that tends to shame me but there’s nothing I can do about it but, yeah, Linda got that pussy eaten and hammered just the same.

    Without offense to you or any other woman reading this, if you get offended by a loss of erection with a man, be sure you know why before you condemn and vilify the guy for not having any desire for you. If you know the guy has erection issues, then why in the name of all that’s holy would you keep kicking him in the crotch about it? I’d even ask if any of you know how getting hard actually works for us, like, inadequate blood flow will do us in no matter how much desire we have; pressure to perform can affect us and the list goes on.

    And if you tend to react like he just doesn’t desire you, I’m sorry but you should be ashamed of yourselves and more so if know the guy has issues he can’t control – but you expect him to and then not give him any credit for trying. And if you tend to kick him when he’s down about this, what exactly do you think this does to his ability to get hard and stay hard long enough to make you happy? Do you even give a rat’s ass about this? And if his issues are that bad, why are you trying to have sex with him in the first place? Does that even make any damned sense to anyone?

    I don’t make any excuses for any man with this issue; I know it happens and, sadly, I also know how badly women can act about it and, yeah, I have the balls to say something about this to you or any other woman who feels as you do about this. Shame on all of you for your lack of compassion and understanding and sense of selfishness. And isn’t it true that if we want to bone you and you ain’t feeling it, you expect us to accept your lack of desire without complaint or question?

    Then everyone wants to know why people cheat on each other? My God…

    • rougedmount says:

      and what happens if you spend …years… providing compassion and understanding about ‘the issue’ and you assume that one day it will get better…that one day he’ll have less stress, that one day he’ll talk to the Dr about medications, that one day he’ll be less tired, that one day after you try over and over again to get him interested, that you realize 10 years have passed and you have remained sexually unfulfilled because you keep allowing him to make excuses, and by then you’ve heard them all, and you realize that sex has never been about sex at all, but a power struggle in which he denies you pleasure because he doesn’t view you as a wife but as a mother, but that’s not something he’ll accept and as a matter of fact, he absolutely refuses to talk about sex. Not about it’s frequency or lack of, Not about fantasy, not about planning for it, not about porn, not about toys, not about any single god damned thing to do with anything sexual and you can not force him to open his mouth. Not by pleading, not by crying, not by understanding, not by suggesting, not by being angry, not by threatening. he refuses. he will not open his mouth, not to defend, not to deny, not to reciprocate with anger, not to respond to fear, not to comfort, not to explain. nothing. silence. absolute and mind shattering silence. Perhaps my sense of selfishness is entitled. Because after months of ignoring ‘the issue’, I slip up and forget I am not supposed to look to him for sexual anything and I am slammed in the face with a reminder of the last 10 years when he acts offended, like he is the injured party because I sought to have sex with someone who is in my bed and yet refuses to respond to me. On purpose or by chance, my response is now the same. He is happy to have a body that no longer betrays his words of not being interested. He now has the flaccid cock that his mind has proclaimed to have all these years, even when his erection betrayed his interest. He’s happier than ever, because he is no longer being faced with performance requests, while I simmer and evaporate into the depths of a sexless hell because I struggle with needing sex with someone outside my marriage and staying married to a man who could care less if I found it elsewhere as long as he can pretend he doesn’t know about it. or have to talk about it.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        As a wife, your “duty” is to never stop being compassionate and understanding – yeah, I know, it’s pure hype and bullshit and the reason why you seek succor and comfort elsewhere when you can. Yes, I give you props because you keep trying with him when most women would not.

        You know his issues and we know from your writings he’s not of a mind to get this fixed; like I said, I make no excuses for him. But you’re beating a half-dead horse and the thing that rubbed me the wrong way is generally ascribing a lack of an erection as a lack of interest – then taking it as a personal affront to your desirability – and you’re not the only woman I’ve heard say this in my 52 years of being sexually active.

        It’s unfair to men in general, but when a man has the issues your husband has and he isn’t motivated to remedy things, well, you reap what you sow, fella… and someone else will be boning your wife. I keep telling you that if I were your man and I was having an issue with this, I’d have a truckload of Viagra parked outside; such is the level of desire your words alone inspire. But he’s not me or any other man who’d do you without a second thought.

        So I implore you; you wanna rant about your hubby, fine; don’t lump all of us in with him. Such generalization makes you and other women look ugly and petty and, yes, clueless about how the male body works – and I’m the guy who’d let you know this. We’re all not like your husband and if I could, I’d be more than happy to prove that to you.

      • rougedmount says:

        I truly think it’s important for a man who does have erection issues, to not get involved with a woman until he gets any physical issues sorted out so that if and when it happens…it can be accommodated as part of a normal sex life

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yes, my dear Rouged, a man with severe issues should not engage with a woman until he gets those issues resolved. If he’s already in deep and the problems crop up, he should immediately get them resolved IF he does not want some other dude fucking his woman as well as maintaining his manhood.

        I’ve told my Linda that if ED hits me hard, I’m stocking up on Viagra and she’d better hope I don’t get an erection lasting four hours because I’m gonna use it on her for 3:59 then go to the hospital.

        The look on her face was precious because she knew I was dead serious. I’m 60, and I lust for her – and women and the occasional cock – like my life depends on it because sex is a damned important aspect of life that I will not give up until I’m dead so if I need medicinal help, well, bend over and grab your ankles, baby, and other women should lock their doors and hide.

        It’s pride, it’s ego but it’s our sworn duty to screw your brains out and if we need help, so be it. I know I ain’t that proud to admit I need that little blue pill – and I shouldn’t be if I’m really a man and one dedicated to beating down pussy… nicely, of course.

    • rougedmount says:

      oh…and let’s not forget the fact that you or any man,is sexually vested and interested in pleasing your partner by any means possible, then that arousal is present in the room, even if the cock is soft at the time. It’s the absence of arousal, the treating of the potential of sex like you are scrubbing skid marks from a gas station toilet after an 8 hr shift, which is the actual issue. It’s trying to force someone who seems to be celibate by sexual nature, into a sexual encounter they do not need or want…over a 25yr marriage. But truthfully, after a few months it gets to you, By the time it’s a few years? You develop a VERY hard shell about it and become intolerant of it in other partners as well.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I agree; there are men who just lose it much in the same way women do: They want sex all the time then the next day, nothing; the lights are off and nobody’s home.

        It happens and complaining about it doesn’t always remedy things; there are things that can be done to fix this issue but, specifically, if your husband won’t do them, game over. Again, I give you big time props because any other woman would have left him no matter the cost to them.

        I know why you stay but because you have to, you wind up paying a price you no longer want to tolerate; none of us who follow you blames you for getting other men to knock your ass into the next zip code and some of us guys who follow you would love a shot at you, too. It may not give you much comfort but you gotta know there are men who desire you even if the guy who’s supposed to doesn’t or can’t.

      • rougedmount says:

        i know men want me…that’s not the issue..the issue is wishing the person you were married to, wanted you. and somehow I guess, I still have the wish that he did and get mad at myself when I forget how things are.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        You don’t always get what you want (remember the song?). Yes, it’s good to know that you’re being lusted after by other men and, yes, it would be nicer if the man living with you was leading the way and always first in line to get between your legs.

        This is the ideal thing… but the reality for you says otherwise and you know my heart goes out to you in this.

      • rougedmount says:

        sigh..i know..and it is what it is.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        If you could get away with it, you’d slip him doses of Cialis and lace his meals with Spanish Fly – does that stuff really work? – which isn’t exactly legal but desperate times often calls for desperate measures and, no, I’m not putting ideas in your pretty head.

        But it does beg the question of what you’re willing to do to get what you want from him, doesn’t it? If you’re still honorably dedicated to getting him to beat your coochie up, then no more “complaining” – it’s time to act and get yours from him by any means necessary… instead of accepting failure.

        Just saying.

      • rougedmount says:

        i’ve gone that route of any means necessary and all it got me was angry.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        At least you tried, right?

  2. Brandisissy says:

    Thank you for pointing out the Inferiority of half_men like myself. My wife reminds me everyday that my permanent role as sissycuckhousebitch is my own fault for having a tiny dicklet that won’t get hard because of low testosterone and my effeminate tendencies.

  3. Krissy C says:

    I apologize in the delay in my “two cents” and I suppose this article was simply a bitter wife blaming a medical issue for a lack of intimacy in her marriage, but I take issue with you pointing your red lipped pistol at every man because you do not understand your own man.
    As a woman with experience, I can tell you that men, sometimes, oftentimes, do not get erect, do not stay erect and do not ejaculate. These are medical issues, not sexual ones. How dare you question the masculinity or the ability of a man to provide pleasure based on the stiffness of his penis?
    Sex is a joining of bodies, not “tab A” into “slot B” -Although that is the quickest route and the one we are trained for. Joining with my body to bring me pleasure does not require that you have a specific sized penis, a specific stiffness, nor a specific color of hair (ridiculousness is called for here, for you are bringing it in spades.) Bringing me pleasure? Well, I would share my secrets, but they are beyond your comprehension, for they involve rational thought and the ability to see beyond ones own ego. How dare you tell me that I am not satisfied with my man, the man that I chose, the man that I commune with, the man who’s body I worship, the man that sends stars through my field of vision. How dare you tell me he cannot satisfy me. How dare you say to a man you know nothing of that he should stay hidden, silent, alone simply because he cannot flip you over the desk and pound you like the whore you want to be. Man up, my lady, take responsibility for your failures and stop blaming the innocent.
    How dare you?

    • rougedmount says:

      for the sake of clarification, I do want to state that it wasn’t your husband I was fucking or referring to. Your hostile statements were not reiteration of my own and perhaps you failed to appreciate the over all message.
      In summation: don’t bring a soft cock to a woman who is looking to get fucked by a hard cock because neither medical or psychological issues matter to someone you are simply looking to fuck and not have a relationship with.
      I understand men, including my own all too well. It sounds like you have an understanding of your’s. Just be aware not all women are in your situation or have a man who meets their needs. This has nothing to do with the failures of the women, but the men who are not being honest about either ability or sexual orientation. If you haven’t experienced the situation, it is hard to imagine or understand, so your words reflect that and it’s why I am not taking them personally.

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