you never get the love you need. you get the love you are used to getting. if you haven’t been taught that reciprocated love, decent love, is normal, then you accept the version you adapted to, in order to mentally survive. and once you grow up, you should recognize your faults and flaws with this childhood way of viewing love and grow towards being the person you want to be; worthy of being loved and being able to show it, express it.
we approach love with weakness and vulnerability. desperately hoping that we will be accepted with all our flaws. And when we stumble, because we inevitably stumble; when we perceive that we are being under appreciated or misunderstood and not loved unconditionally, it brings all those old fears, that soulful childish hurt, to the front of the relationship. As we fail, we fall backwards; out of love and out of time to fix things before angry words are spoken and cold shoulders hold slammed doors shut.
we never get the love we need. we get the love we invent ourselves and allow ourselves to believe. thank you kind Liras, for reminding me that it is not my reactions to the swirl of confusion, anger and rage, which knock me to my knees, which are abnormal, but my forgetting that they came from an abnormal place of creation .A reactive and situational depression and sadness is in fact, a natural and reasonable response.