i used to sketch and paint all the time. i never made time for it, it was simply part of my day. it was an extension of taking photos. digital captures so i could create it again by hand and see if i could do it and make it feel like i did when i saw what i did. light is fleeting and changes a mood. which is why film always excited me.
anyway, life happens, jobs happen, kids happen. you’re so tired you actually think a serious medical issue isn’t SO bad since at least you could stay in bed and sleep and other people would supposedly rally and feed your family. and so the painting and sketching ended. left on the shelf until i had more time. i never had more time.
but i painted today. 7 hours simply disappeared. i forgot how much i zone out and empty when i do it. when i focus on paint lines and brush strokes. and i forgot how much i have revelations when i zone out and my mind has time to simply be quiet. to randomly generate ideas and put things together like puzzle pieces. it’s amazing!
how is it possible to have forgotten something so wonderful. and funny! something that brings you so much joy, relaxation and a different type of tired? it’s like being refreshed and excited. eager to do it again and with gusto! i haven’t felt those things in a long time. just a simply joy over something that was just sitting right there all along.