chills and malaise have overtaken me, rendering me incapable of continuing to deny the obvious; I have a cold. As I don’t get them often, I find that having one feels rather horrid. Interestingly enough, as I was hacking up a lung this morning in front of the bathroom mirror, I noticed that while doing so, I looked about 10 years older than I am. I have puffy eyes and my skin looks grey. My nose is reddish and my lips are dry. I ‘look’ sick but don’t look as bad as I feel. Since when did feeling like you fell down a flight of stairs, get added to the ‘it’s just a cold’ list?
I’ve spent 3 days sleeping off and on and rather than getting better, I am not at my peak of illness yet. I know this because this morning as I came downstairs and started to unload the dishwasher, I started to cry. All I wanted to do was lay down on the kitchen floor and go to sleep. I’m hungry but am nauseous when I eat. I eat then have massive acid reflux and spend 2 hours wishing I could simply barf the contents of the meal out of my body to end the torsion occurring in my guts.
My eyesight is blurry, as if I am not wearing prescription glasses, that I neither have or need. I spoke on the phone briefly for work and sounded like a nicotine addicted sex trade worker after a very long week end, from 5 days of brutal hacking coughs which have torn the delicate membranes inside my larynx. I’m drinking herbal teas with lemon and honey. I’ve chewed 874 lozenges and I am sure it’s created borderline diabetes with the sugar content. I’ve popped some pharmaceuticals and given myself that weird feeling of hearing things in a quasi echo as my vision gets time delayed. Maybe I overdosed on them.
Nothing is working, I feel like crap, I’ve had a 7 day head ache, I’m sick, I’m tired and I’m bordering on just whining and having a tantrum because I am sick and tired, which makes me feel unlike myself and I hate it and I don’t want to play anymore. If you see a woman in her pajamas in the grocery store later today, with her messy hair hidden under a baseball hat, crying by the produce as I get a few things I need for dinner, today, please just remember that at least I have my face covered with a bandanna to prevent bio hazardous phlegm from infecting anyone else and I am in fact, not about to rob the store of carrots and celery.
On second thought and after reading about the symptoms ofInfluenza, I probably DO have the flu. Well that sucks.