At some point in your life you simply stop wanting to get along by sucking up all the shit that’s thrown your way and you stand up for yourself, knowing that your actions have consequences. I am patient. I’ve had to develop the skill over a 20 year span because I have to deal with an oppositionally defiant, autistic child. But it’s a skill I learned, meaning it is not my natural response when idiots do idiotic thing.
My actual response is seething, reactionary, in your face, calling you out on your shit in a polite manner with scathing undertones. So people hear the calm compromise whole viewing a face which is expressively showing distaste or even muted hostility. Of course it can be confusing, as what people may see and hear in my body language is different than my vocal expression.
I avoid conflict as it upsets me, I take it personally, and it triggers my need to ‘win’ at all costs. I can not compromise when faced with absolutes thrown in my face. My gut reaction is to be combative back and win at all costs. This is how survivors survive. And I am a survivor. When my avoidance and mediation techniques fail; when I am forced into a reactionary role, then I come out swinging and biting. I fight dirty as it’s only about winning. I consider any collateral damage as the price I am willing to pay.
The trouble with the majority of people, is that they aren’t used to the quiet anger that comes with retribution and payback. They assume they can be assholes, or that they can even escalate a situation into a physical confrontation because they can hide behind the veil of darkness and the simple words of ‘it wasn’t me’ which will protect them. They’re wrong. There are some things that you can’t walk away from and the consequence to your violent and cowardly actions ,when directed at me, are one of them.
Dear neighbor, throwing a 2lb, 5’x2′ rock at my head when I was in my fenced in backyard, was a mistake that you don’t get to take back or correct. Nothing you say or do, will alter how I feel about what you did or change my mind about how I am going to deal with you from this day forward. Your assault on me failed, as the rock simply grazed the hair on my head and did not make contact or we would be dealing with a very different situation today.
The Police of course took their report, The security camera facing your backyard and front yard are being installed next week. The floodlights in my backyard have been re-directed to your windows. I have called the handyman to install a 6 ft high ‘trellis’, inside my fence line and starting above my fence so I have a 12ft high wall along where our properties adjoin. I have reported you to animal control for your aggressive dog and parking bylaw enforcement. And that’s just this mornings work.
I have your licence plates as well as your general work schedule and will go to the Police and file road traffic violations in person every time I can; and it’s a shame how so many vehicles get damaged in parking lots now. Funny how you’re about to have a run of very bad luck. Oh! And your aggressive dog that you let loose to attack my cat on my property this summer and who bit her toe off? Chances are that dog is going to be getting quite sick in the near future. Such a shame, really. But aggressive dogs with bad owners have a tendency of dying before you expect them to. Just sayin’. So weird if that happens to your dog.
And let’s be clear. If you assault me again? My first call won’t be to the Police. All I have to do is make 1 single phone call to a good friend of mine who has a very interesting husband. I haven’t always been the respectable middle class mom you see as a neighbor and not all of my friends reflect where I am right now in my life. He hasn’t been in prison since they married 15yrs ago, but he has a very large biker family who has a very long reach and have absolutely no compunction about being as gentle with their response to what you’ve done to me. You’ll have lots of time to think about hurting me again, with your own family members in the hospital and filing insurance claims for a burned out house or vehicle.
I’m not angry, I am resolved, which is so much worse. You have no idea whats coming your way, but you’re about to find out.