Rant: Aspergers meltdown

Aspergers. Autism. The spectrum. My life.

You know what bothers me the most about autism? It’s that other people have no freaking idea about what you are faced with as a parent when you deal with a meltdown. In public. In a store trying to buy clothes for an adult child with Aspergers, who also has sensory issues and has overloaded into an ignorant confrontational, oppositional, defiant and aggressive mess who verbally assaults you while raising their voice progressing to more and more unreasonable and un-fucking-believable things.

And I am expected to stay calm and reasonable. Which I did. And yet I am just supposed to walk away from the brutal encounter and not have it impact me emotionally. Right. Because I’m a fucking robot. He is horrible. Yes ‘he’. Not his actions, not his autism. HE. Want to know what it’s like having a young adult child with Aspergers. Go to your local bar and get a mean, nasty, uneducated, belligerent man, fall down stinking drunk and then try and get them to do something complicated, like, oh I don’t know, try on a pair of sweat pants.

Live with that mean, violent, abusive, ungrateful drunk every single day of your life. Then try to be happy. Or normal. Or mentally stable. You become brutally and horrible wrecked. Because once his tantrum is done, once a few hours pass HIS life goes on as it normally does. Because the kid who has aspergers is not impacted by what happened. It’s the parent who feels like they fell down a flight of stairs after being horrifically sunburned and eating bad sushi. Then beaten with flails to within an inch of your life.

I seriously have no idea why someone would choose to lie with someone who has Aspergers as a life partner. It’s bad enough being emotionally brutalized by your child, I can’t imagine it happening continuously for the rest of your life by your spouse and not be able to ever have a break from it. Does that mean he’ll be alone for the rest of his life? Who knows. He’d need someone like himself and heaven forbid if he ever had kids. I can’t imagine how mentally abused the child would be.

So do me a favour the next time you are in a clothes store and you see 2 adult parents trying to talk a crazy person off the proverbial ledge because of trying to buy new clothes for their ungrateful, ignorant adult child with Apergers, stop fucking staring like you haven’t seen a 3 year old tantrum before. Just mind your own god damned business and stay the fuck out of ours. I am so fucking tired of assholes and assholes with Aspergers.

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10 Responses to Rant: Aspergers meltdown

  1. Shalom says:

    Hugs. My son is on the spectrum, too 💜

  2. ((((Hugs)))) judgemental FWs that tut at me and my Aspie son in public, shit me to tears….

    • rougedmount says:

      part of me gets it..the looks..i mean, it’s completely confusing for a young adult man to be accompanied by both parents and then proceed to have a meltdown you’d see in a toddler. i get it. i do. and to the outside world, once he looses it…they don;t know if it’s an elaborate joke being filmed for youtube or if it’s a real attitude..because there is NO way this young man can be acting like he is ‘for real’..they don’t know if they should intervene or leave us alone…
      i left..i came back..and of course hours later he is perfectly fine and acting like nothing happened..and his father and I hate each other over it and I have an emotional hangover and feel like shit and will for days because of it.

  3. Michelle says:

    I’m so sorry what you are going through.

  4. dievca says:

    Not in my realm of experiences, but you remind me to be patient and realize that I don’t know the back stories for anyone.

    • rougedmount says:

      ohhhh how i wish more people would understand that of others. we are so used to making snap decisions for human survival, that we sometimes act or come to conclusions that are inaccurate based on limited information.

  5. Cinn says:

    One of my brothers has a child with autism, and is Aspie.
    Even then, reading your words brought me to tears. I still had no idea. I probably never well. But you showed me a piece.

    Sending you hugs and love

    • rougedmount says:

      thanks for commenting…they need your support. Giving them a week end without him if you can, even just a night every 3 months, can make a difference between them staying married and being divorced. The pressure is intense living with an aspie kid and requires an insane amount of commitment between the parents. Even when they both WANT to be there…sometimes you just can’t breathe anymore. As bad as it can be, it doesn’t take much to recharge and gifting them with time to just not have to be mentally prepared to fend off disaster at any given moment, will help them more than you can ever imagine.

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