i often wonder why you still want to maintain a relationship with me after getting exactly what you were looking for by being with someone else. i know we ended as the result of a misunderstanding. you’ve told me multiple times she was your second choice. you’ve also said you are staying. you love us both. i understand and support this decision and would not have it any other way.
you keep wanting to go back and replay the what may have been’s. to renew what we had and continue as we were. but you can never go back to the past. to be honest, i wouldn’t want to. I can’t play the game of how things might have worked out between us. i know because of the stress you are under right now, it makes it easy to think about how easy things might have been with me. dramatically different. and it’s appealing to you; especially when you and your new wife are so tired, juggling 2 careers, a new baby and a blended family.
i’m not the person you moved on with. she is. and yet you never let me go so you could be with her completely. it’s not fair to her. it’s not fair to us. maybe i keep the entire thing confused for us because i haven’t said to stay away. it doesn’t matter how long goes between us talking because we resume where we left off. it’s a connection we’ll always share. i wonder if i could be content being your mistress through your multiple marriages. not sharing your daily life, simply your erotic thoughts over a lifetime.