i wonder what you think in your indecision. how a man so very competent in his real world, real life is so very unsure and tenuous when with me. i find it implausible that i scare you. or that you are so intimidated that you withdraw away from the man i see you to be when you take your business calls.
i’m not even sure i understand why you contact me. why you want to see me for those brief little meetings where you blush and we laugh and i say things that make you look shocked that a woman’s said it. i realize you work in a male dominated profession and live in an estrogen rich and religious environment, but am I truly so very shocking to your sensibilities that I render you speechless and unable to focus on the fact that you are a male?
i don’t know what you get over maintaining this strange friendship between us. where you tempt yourself by placing yourself in my proximity so that I can send jolts of awareness through you. perhaps i am the single thing you have no control over in your well ordered life. i see through the facade you present to the world. which is why you are drawn to me.