… ever been so mad you just drank an entire glass of amaretto and realized that it was probably 2 cups you just downed as a shot? sometimes i wonder at the little things and how they add up to be enough to make you burst occasionally. dealing with shit, everyone’s shit. shit rolls downhill. i’m tired of dealing with shit.
tired of being neutral as well. trying so hard to not be angry that it’s like my brain has self medicated me to try and stay calm. yet my eyes flash. prove that my calm words are a lie. my eyes speak and shoot daggers. seriously needing a 2 second delay so i can edit my brains response so my mouth doesn’t get me in trouble.
so many good people that have idiots who have the ability to ruin their lives, change the course of their plans. nothing makes you feel as helpless as letting other people have the control of your future. jobs aren’t stable, relationships aren’t stable, life is not stable. the older you get the more you realize that every day just may be your very last day as a functioning alive vibrant person.
that shit happens and if it’s your turn, you just have to deal with it, no matter how big the mess is. no matter how much it makes you nauseous. no matter how much you just want to say fuck it and move away. go to sleep. drink away your issues. wouldn’t that be nice? being able to be that selfish? i’m not so i slog through it. what’s the saying? haters gonna hate?