rant: fur babies

oh. my. god.

if one more ‘adult’ compares their owning a freaking PET as being equal in ANY way to that of being a PARENT, I am going to blind myself so I never have to read the vomit of inexperience they believe to be true, again. In real life, I would stab their eyes out. Not really, but be grateful that I have no super powers or by all that is Holy, their head would explode before I could stop myself.

a DOG is a DOG. It is not a baby – it is not a child – it is not a fur person. YOU are not parents. if you spend money on daycare? behaviour therapy? excessive toys? if you inhibit your life or sacrifice your sleep, to accommodate the dogs schedule, then you are suffering from a mental dis-associative disorder or other psychological impairment and need professional medical help and/or a series of drugs to fix it. every single adult who has listened to you promote yourself as a mommy to your fur babies and who has actually pro-created, looks at you with a mixture of concealed contempt and pity.

real animal lovers understand that spoiling an animal means you are abusing it. responsible animal owners know you don’t parent an animal, you train it. they need a schedule, to have their basic needs met and absolute rules from an alpha pack leader. you are not now, nor will you ever be ‘their mom’.  they don’t ‘give kisses’, they are not ‘basically human.’ for you to make the comparison that being a dog owner is the same as being a mother, is an affront to every single woman who HAS given birth and every single father who has taken on the responsibility of raising a CHILD.

if you choose to not have children, then don’t pretend animals are children, they aren’t. if you choose to postpone having children and would like to ‘practice’ your parenting skill set on an animal, then have fun. others will judge you when you try to equate the experience. this is something you will never understand unless you have a child of your own. it is only then you will get it.

purchasing and caring for animals is nothing like sharing your body with another human and experiencing the hormonal and emotional changes that occur as a result of it. nurturing children and experiencing the trauma of raising them is the farthest thing possible, away from training and socializing a dog. the only person who makes that kind of remark, is one who is exceptionally immature and inexperienced.

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15 Responses to rant: fur babies

  1. disconcerted72 says:

    I go bat-shit nuts when people compare their animals to a kid and say, “It’s just like having a child”….Um, no it facking isn’t!

    • rougedmount says:

      i had a childless family member give a mini speech about her babies and i almost had an aneurysm with the effort it took for me to keep my mouth closed..all that came out was a civilized…ahhh no.

      • disconcerted72 says:

        And then, they get offended when you point out the obvious to them…go figure.

      • rougedmount says:

        .. I get the place that animals hold in our hearts..especially dogs. I had a trained service dog for 15.5 YEARS who risked her life several times to save the lives of my children. When we put her down I was devastated. I trusted her more than most people, I loved her more than I loved most people and I would have chosen her life to save over many humans I have met over the years.
        Because of my involvement in the dog community, with animal husbandry and in the service animal field, I have extensive experience with a wide variety of animals and training ideologies as I have taught them to other families with special needs kids, pairing them up with the appropriate service animal.
        A childless person, commenting about parenting with an authoritative voice, about aligning their skills on raising a puppy as being equal to, in every way, the raising of a child, is wrong. wrong.wrong.wrong.
        of course they had similar experienced…just like removing a splinter from your finger is similar to removing a baby from your vagina. the point is; there is really NO comparison between keeping a pet and raising a child. none. there is not a single parent i know who would stand in front of a burning building with their family dog and their child and choose the pet’s life over the child. not one.
        my opinion is exceptionally strong on this for a single reason. i HAVE been in a position of life and death…I had to make a choice on who to save and who to let go of. try doing THAT as a parent and see how it impacts you and how you can no longer tolerate silly women who speak like immature and idealistic teenagers who don’t understand the realities of life and actual dangers.
        I love my dog. but my dog will never be a replacement for a parental love for a child.
        IF people choose to have a dog and not a child, I think its great. Knowing your personal limits and abilities is a prized skill.
        To be an effective parent you need to be selfless. It’s not a job for everyone.
        Believe me…the woman I wrote about…as I did write about a specific person!…would have failed miserably as a mother. Her children would have suffered from her narcissistic and self centered behaviour. Her issues go far beyond calling and treating her dog like a baby…
        i needed to rant…and not be attacked for my opinion about people who believe they are qualified to call themselves a mother because they own a dog. That’s a title I EARNED…and they haven’t. You don’t steal the title and expect the respect.

  2. Draco Dimanovic says:

    …..but for people who cannot have children, it’s as close as we can get….. No one disputed that having a child isn’t harder

    • rougedmount says:

      my rant was actually because the comments were made that being a ‘parent’ of a dog was the same as a being the parent of a child. it’s not a matter of being harder either..i’ve certainly re-trained and rehabilitated animals who were far harder to deal with than some children. The issue is animal ownership is not child rearing. and those people who loudly advocate that the experience is the same … are sadly wrong and delusional

  3. Dawn D says:

    You may be right, owning a pet and having a child is not the same thing.
    However, you cannot assume that there is nothing similar in it. The emotional attachment of owning a pet can mean as much to some as having a child.
    Losing a pet does feel like losing a part of your family. Having had to move many times, I can assure you that to my kids, leaving our pet behind would have been devastating. And that losing one in our move was a very emotional experience. Probably not as bad as losing a sibling, but still emotionally very upsetting.
    And the way you write about people you know nothing about is offensive. Did you ever consider that for some people, due to various circumstances in life that are theirs and not ours to judge, maybe it’s not that they do not want children, or that they postpone so that they can enjoy life or want to ‘train’ for later children, maybe it is simply that they cannot or feel they cannot have a child? And that their trying to make fun of it as saying I have my pet, that’s enough for me, is because they don’t want to discuss this most private fact with you?
    When I read your last sentence, I tend to think that you are right. Look in the mirror. The only person who writes such an aggressive post about people she knows nothing about, making generalisations like you just did, is probably quite immature and unwilling to regard others’ experiences as being, though different, as valid as her own.

    • rougedmount says:

      your personal attack on me was unwarranted. i did not write in generalizations. i wrote about a specific person who has a situation i am intimately familiar with. you have no knowledge of the relationship i have with the person who claimed she was a mother because she owned a dog. you have made sweeping and highly inaccurate generalizations.
      i certainly made no pronouncement that dog ownership and child rearing don’t share a variety of ‘similar’ behaviors and emotions, as you’ve alluded to.
      My post was clearly labeled AS a rant. It was about someone I know and comes from a place of exceptionally vast experience, with which to make the comment. You’re assumption that I spoke from a place of ignorance or misinformation, was not warranted.

      • Dawn D says:

        Nowhere in your post do you speak of a specific person. You use the general pronoun you, which can be used either as a singular or a plural.
        You cannot hold it against me that I read it as a generalisation.
        You start your post by talking about one more ‘adult’… which to me clearly indicates that we’re not talking about one specific person but at least two, since you use the ‘more’ adverb.
        You even go as far as using the pronouns ‘they’ and ‘their’. Forgive me for not reading it as a way for you to not specify gender, but as you talking in the third person of the plural. Which, I’m sure you’ll agree, it IS.
        Further along you say ‘you are not parents’. Note the plural once again.
        To me, this all seemed like a generalisation. I’m sure that it would appear so to a lot of other people reading this post.
        Yo ueven go as far as implying that people who spend more money than what you deem reasonable are suffering from a mental disorder.
        I understand this is your blog and you are allowed to use it to vent uninhibited. But unfortunately, in doing so, you also make it public, it’s not just a diary. So you expose yourself to people reading your words and not necessarily the intention behind them. Though, when you talk of stabbing someone’s eyes out, I’d say your meaning is pretty clear that you loathe these people..
        It doesn’t matter. You are offended by my reply. I was offended by your post. I guess I ache for a friend who just lost her fur baby.
        I suppose I hope my reaction to your post can give you an idea of how people may react to your words. If you really meant it as a rant against ONE person, then I suggest next time you use phrases like ‘this person’ instead of ‘they’.

      • rougedmount says:

        i understand…we all have triggers.. i wrote for me..instead of saying what i wrote to the person who inspired it…and her little band of self flagellating supporters who are too afraid to tell the empress she has no clothes on. Some comments were tongue in cheek…some were just pented up severe frustration with someone who tries to make everything about them and their situation. You can say your child just graduated into high school; her dog graduated from obedience class. Your child just broke up from their first serious relationship and is suffering and her dog’s best doggie friend just moved to the other side of the city. your child was hospitalized from an anaphalaxis reaction caused from cross contamination and HER puppy has the exact same thing happen when she changed to a new bag so she now feeds organic, holistic pro biotic raw food diet. offering parenting advice to someone with multiple kids with an educational background that is comprehensive and deals in psychology and special education …and the person speaking has no kids, no education and no eperience…but compare their ‘parenting’ style with their dog as proof of their credibility, makes me insane. Just because someone ‘wants’ to be educated on a topic and included in conversation about it, doesn’t mean that they are are. Dogs are not children. The can be the world to someone, they can be their lifeline. i am intimately aware of it. but unless a person has the responsibility for children, then they need to be aware that MANY people resent having their kids compared to dogs and our parenting compared to animal training…it’s like comparing a Navy Seal to a kid who has just earned their Bronze Medallion swimming badge.

  4. darkgemdom says:

    I had fish

    Fish work for Me

  5. dragonfly918 says:

    I don’t have kids and I feel the same way, even though I have a toy poodle that does take a lot of maintenance and time. I love my dog, she’s a great companion, but not a child. I do have friends who treat their animals as if they are their human babies and it’s simply psychological transference where they are getting their emotional needs met in a dysfunctional way. There are worse things in the world though.

    • rougedmount says:

      i agree…i just couldn’t take the excessive demand that i treat a dog owner like the mother she feels herself to be. i’ve gone through far too much with kids to hand her a title she didn’t earn.

      • dragonfly918 says:

        If the Internet has taught me anything, is that people are far FAR crazier than I ever thought possible.

        I can only feel pity for people who are so needy that they are forced to *substitute* the love of a dog for a person in their lives. ( I say that with every respect for people who spend their lives rescuing animals and put tremendous effort in caring and rehabilitating abused and abandoned creatures. But this isn’t about them. )

        I am talking about a person like my friend who lives in terror every day of her 16 yo dog passing because she considers him her “son.” He has been the only living creature who has shown her unconditional love and acceptance, when her parents neglected her, and every man she chose to partner up with used and/or abused her. The dog has also been the recipient of care and devotion she has not been allowed to show to ther people . She does not, however, make the crazy claim that her experiences put her on par with the mother of a human child. Such people are clearly broken emotionally. I avoid those kinds of people for a myriad of reasons, the same as I would avoid a venomous snake. And if they are strangers, I nod politely and smile and say “oh yes, I see” and be sure to lie like a rug when asked for my number. If I’m related, then Ill tell them exactly what I think so then they can hate me and never speak to me again. Win win!

      • rougedmount says:

        (lmao…the last part cracked me up) My heart breaks for your friend…animals are therapeutic as part of a program to heal from trauma. But they are to be used to help people transition from animal to human and not be the replacement for the human interaction. Her experience damaged her and she transferred her devotion to an animal who has a much shorter lifespan than we have. She is going to suffer so much when her dog dies. She didn’t learn to trust others or let others love her, using the dog as a catalyst. It makes me so sad for her.

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