clarity of divorce

… there comes a time in a marriage that is struggling, that you realize that you DO want a divorce; when you realize that divorce is not just an ‘option’ or a ‘choice’ but an actual desire to BE divorced from that person. it’s a moment of clarity in the obtuse world your marriage has become …

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16 Responses to clarity of divorce

  1. georgiakevin says:

    My heart goes out to you.

  2. Shalom says:

    Divorce isn’t easy, but ultimately is the path back to clarity and authenticity. Sending best wishes.

  3. Lex Jones says:

    There is nothing like a true moment of clarity. Best wishes to you.

  4. dragonfly918 says:

    Yes. Once you’re done, you’re done. And yet, the hard part is still coming.

  5. ismeisreallyme says:

    Clarity. That pesky thing we always think we want, feel we want and yet sometimes, no, strike that, often times, it’s a bit of the careful what you wish for. I find I still run from it at times, even when it’s staring at me in the face and I see it in the mirror every day. Positive thoughts going out to you, as you are braver than I. {{hugs}}

  6. Ray says:

    The time leading up to the decision to divorce is the hardest thing in life you will most likely face. Once the decision is made, it gets easier. Then it’s just dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s”

  7. Dawn D says:

    I guess my ‘clarity’ moment was different. Having asked for a divorce already, and given a second chance, wholly and whole-heartedly, when I said the final ‘I want a divorce’, it was more of a ‘I don’t think it’s worth it to keep going, I’m never going to be happy in this marriage…’.
    But ultimately, I think it is the best solution for your soul, to accept in reality what you know in your soul. To be allowed (or allow yourself) to live in sync with your soul.
    I know that I could not be satisfied to live openly lying to the person I live with, and lying to others too. Or maybe not feeling there is any possible new, complete relationship until this one is over. I understand that for many reasons other people choose different paths and this is in no way a judgement on your decisions, merely a reflection on what I could live with.
    Whatever you do, you will need courage. Courage if you stay, as you know all too well for having done it already for a while. Courage if you leave, for a whole different set of reasons. Whatever you choose, it will be the right decision for you. And I’ll try and support you through it.
    Good luck.

  8. I know I certainly reached that point. It’s a heartbreaking and liberating clarity all at once.

  9. Village Idiot says:

    Dear rougedmount:

    I married [or seem to recall so doing] on the premise that I would never go to that place. I did not realize that I was closing down life. In my case, I waited too long. As much as I long for the affection of a woman, I honestly don’t know if I want such a relationship. So there really is no point in pursuing that course.

    But if I ever do move in that direction as you challenged me, it will be because your feelings and thoughts expressed in warm, living, pulsing words have quickened in me the belief that yes, women are indeed sensual, physical beings.

    God love you, rougedmount. You’ll have no argument from me. As I’ve said before, this is a matter of honesty with ourselves. Honesty, and seeking the healing we need. How our broken hearts need tender mending…

    Village Idiot

  10. suri says:

    I just curious on one thing,how would your children react when they found out about your plan for a divorce?
    Aren’t you afraid of what they gonna think of you when they found out about your affairs?

    • rougedmount says:

      no..I am not afraid of what my children are going to think about me when finding out about my affairs. it’s none of their business and no sane and psychologically sound parent should discuss intimate details of their marriage with a child’s parent. as well..i did not detail a plan..merely stated a clarity.

      • suri says:

        I know of a woman who is in the same position as yours who already emotional detached from her husband a very long time ago after she found her husband cheated on her,she waited until her children grows up before she took the action even indulging in some flings of her own but her children sees her as the villain when they found out about her infidelity.They believes she’s the one who actually destroyed the marriage.

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