the baby

Seeing pregnant women makes me so nostalgic

Remembering how I felt when carrying my own

Sharing your body with another person is surreal

There is a point where you disbelieve the possibility

Assigning numerous changes to your body and mind

To ‘the baby’

It’s harder on a woman closer you get to the due date

The more impatient, achy, tired and uncomfortable you are

Your body becomes taken over meeting the needs of another

And the parasitic relationship feels like it’s draining you

You are painfully aware of not having control of anything

And yet you are also content to let them stay inside of you

The protection of your body is the only thing you can give

To ‘the baby’

When it’s your first, you are naively unaware of what’s to come

You can’t know the fear of having your heart and soul exposed

The dangers of the world always lurking and ready to hurt them

Over protectiveness doesn’t even begin to describe a new mother

Our post natal hormones make us believe that everything poses a risk

To ‘the baby’

You can become violently angry with walking sick or careless people

Barely restraining yourself with absurd over reactions to minor infractions

You have no tolerance for anything or anyone who may cause harm

To “the baby”

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11 Responses to the baby

  1. Dawn D says:

    I have fond memories of my pregnancies, though part of me wishes I could have experienced some love, caring and support during these times, allowing me to truly enjoy them. Now I fear this will forever remain a fantasy…

  2. dievca says:

    I can only imagine — early months don’t count. XO

    • Dawn D says:

      I disagree. I had to stay in bed for a long time with my first pregnancy, having contractions from the beginning. I had severe morning sickness with the second, making it impossible to forget I was growing a tiny life. I lost too many babies in the early stages and was subsequently afraid in the first few months, until I could feel the baby move.
      Early months do count 😉

      • dievca says:

        I miscarried three times — I couldn’t get past the first 3 months, so I didn’t know the feeling of someone sharing my body.

      • Dawn D says:

        Then you of all people know that those first months DO count. It is during those months that your body either accepts that baby or doesn’t, or maybe it is that that baby doesn’t want to grow in it, we can never know. I miscarried more than you but am lucky I managed to carry some to term.
        What I’m trying to say is, if these first months didn’t count, you wouldn’t consider you miscarried but would not even recognise the pregnancies. The fact you use that vocabulary means that you do recognise they shared your body, even if for too short a time.
        Hugs to you. Losing a child, even if it’s just the idea, the hope of a child, is a difficult experience.

      • dievca says:

        Let it go.
        I asked Mel to remove our comments.

      • Dawn D says:

        I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words.
        May I send you hugs still?

      • dievca says:

        Whoops – not Mel. Rouge.

      • Dawn D says:

        Re-reading your first comment in context brings it to a new light. I am really sorry. Let’s just put the fact I wasn’t able to sense the meaning of it on my bad head cold. Please?

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