guaranteed satisfaction myth

I have several times heard men state that they have stopped a sexual encounter with their partner because she “wasn’t into it”, she “seemed bored”.  They complained that she “just laid there, doing nothing”. In a huff, he gives up access to the sexual outlet and flounces out of the bed, placing blame for the perceived rejection upon a woman who is not responding. They claim that they lose the ability to get or achieve an erection as a result of her disinterest as opposed to looking at the situation and the history of the relationship.

The singular question I always ask myself? Why isn’t she responding?

Every time I hear this complaint from a man, the first thing that comes to mind, is that he has a small penis and he has not accepted the fact and he has not made accommodations to arouse a woman in the absence of his penis length and width. When it comes to arousal from penetration, simply using your penis alone, size matters.

So many men are lazy in bed that it borders on epidemic. They should be castrated and not allowed to contribute to future generations of lazy lovers. Most men race to penetration, which gets them off quickly and leaves the entire sexual experience for the woman as dry and unappealing. By the time she starts to respond to the simple friction, he is done. Women learn that men who have sex like this are not worth their time in responding to. It’s a waste of time and effort that leads to their sexual frustration.

If they are married to a man like that, they simply learn to get sex over with. Spreading their legs for the few minutes it takes him to get himself off is not a bad payoff when there are other things that matter, like meal planning or laundry. His lack of ability especially doesn’t matter when sex is not a priority in her own life; though perhaps sex is not a priority, because she has never had a good lover who understands how to arouse a woman. Her boredom may stem from her partners inadequate skills.

When a man has a small penis and he penetrates a woman’s vagina without taking the time to arouse and please her sexually first, he simply doesn’t have the penis mass needed to give her enough pressure to force her body into responding. When a man is not thick, there is nothing that pushes and spreads her apart and it’s no different than the feeling of inserting a diaphragm or even a feminine hygiene product.

With a thicker and longer penis, even when a woman is not aroused, once he pushes inside of you, your body notices. You feel lubrication start, to adjust to his size. You feel your vagina lengthen and tighten as you stretch to accommodate his girth and length. Your brain is not involved as it’s involuntary response to applied internal pressure and the pressure builds quickly due to the force he is applying to the entire pelvic floor area.

A small penis simply has neither the reach or the mass to force a woman’s body to respond unless he has taken the time to physically and mentally arouse her so that by the time he does enter her, her body is aching to respond to anything that touches the erogenous zones that were stimulated. It’s why a woman can achieve orgasm from receiving oral sex or by fingering. Her body can adapt to the stimulation and seek the release it needs.

This unique ability a woman has to adapt to arousal, gives a man a variety of options to please his partner sexually, if he chooses to. It is critically important that he has to accept his own limitations when it comes to expectations or response from his partner. If he has a small penis, he can not penetrate and expect her body to be sexually responsive to the limited intrusion as nothing has been engaged; not her mind or her body.

A well endowed man does not have to do the ground work that a man who has a small penis does. If he has stamina, he can simply mount a woman and let her body do the work of arousing herself because of friction. If he can not last once he is thrusting, then a man with a larger cock will have the same issues a man with a small penis does. The woman’s body will not have enough time to arouse itself before he ejaculates. It doesn’t matter what size the mans penis is when he is an inconsiderate lover. At most, they may be given an opportunity at redemption in the form of a repeat performance, but rarely will they have an understanding partner who accepts this man’s lazy sexual habits. It’s easier for a woman to find a new sexual partner.

Considering how hard most men have to work to have sex with a new partner, it would make sense that they work at the relationship with the women who are already allowing them sexual access. Becoming a better lover, regardless of penis size, should be an aspiration all people have once they understand and appreciate the role sexual function has in our mental health.

I can see how a lesser endowed man could resent a man who has a larger cock and therefore is automatically better equipped at pleasing a woman sooner, with less effort on his part. But I would also wonder why he thinks that quick penetration with immediate ejaculation would be something to aspire to. I can also understand how it’s the basest form of human nature to blame the partner who isn’t responding instead of being accountable for your own lack of sexual actions. The reality is that being in the presence of a naked man is not enough to arouse most women to orgasm.

Most men treat sex as a fast food drive through experience, where the time is not taken to touch and appreciate, to truly savour the flavours and the gift your partner is given you, which is unlimited access to their body and often times, their mind. Any sexual adult woman, understands that there are times a man just needs to fuck and take immediate liberties with their partner and they are more than willing to give him that gift when she knows it’s simply a part of their sexual repertoire. But if it’s the only thing he does, if all he can manage is to penetrate and orgasm, it gets boring very quickly for the woman. His erection becomes her signal to disengage and eventually resent the intrusion as his needs are always met and hers rarely, if ever, are.

Is satisfaction guaranteed simply because a man has a larger cock than another? Of course not. It simply increases the chances that a woman can find sexual satisfaction even when the man in possession of it, does not take the time to fully arouse her before he determines it’s time to enter her. If nothing else, it’s just another example of why the woman should be the one who determines if and when he enters her. If the man can’t control his body then the woman should take over the couples sex life and if he can’t comply or accept it, then she should at least take control of her own satisfaction to guarantee that her needs are met as well.

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16 Responses to guaranteed satisfaction myth

  1. Ok I might be the only one with a partner that is just not interested in sex. I know it surprises me too. I am not the largest guy on the planet, but I am more than a hand full that has pleased more than a few women. I don’t get it and it is the cause of our troubles in life. It is just the opposite for me, my needs have fallen by the wayside.

    • rougedmount says:

      it’s a common thing for women to not want sex…to be distracted, to be tired, to be hormonal, to have responsibilities that they can;t get over to make sex easy…it’s much more of a rarity to find men who have no interest. if a woman has a low libido, then they need to be medically responsible for it…and actively pursue options as it impacts their mate. if they don;t then mental issues need to be pursued as to why they are not interested..either instance means she has to accept responsibility for not just HER sexual needs but her partners.

  2. Dawn D says:

    I think it is more complicated that that.
    I agree that size does matter, to a certain extent, but as you say, someone with a larger cock and no care about his partner will not be any more satisfying than someone with a smaller penis. Actually, I cannot think of something that worries me more than getting a well endowed man trying to fors himself into me before having tried to arouse me. The rubbing, tugging etc must feel horrible.
    No matter what the size is, what I look forward to in having sex is the connection. If there is a connection, there will be mutual care to please the other and it will be satisfying to both.
    Having been a long sufferer of depression, I am sure my ex would have the same sort of comment as rocksforbrains. For the longest time, I wasn’t interested, wasn’t responsive. I do believe however that it is because I was overtired and felt undervalued, because my worries were never listened to nor assuaged before he tried to make a move. Which means that I was not able to clear my head and let go enough to enjoy sex.
    His size was reasonable (I never measured and don’t have that many to compare with), but his lack of interest in connecting with me as a person meant I couldn’t open up that part of me either.
    Size does matter, but it’s not the most important thing, in my opinion.

    • The one thing I read throughout this is a sense of imbalance: men don’t care about women, don’t involve thenselves in domestic duties, and will “force” themselves into a woman’s body, whilst women don’t have a responsibility to provide much more than a hole (at least in the context of the sexual side of the relationship) and that they have to control the dynamic if they are to be truly satisfied. I read nothing about sharing or working together, and I feel it saddening that anyone should find themselves in such a situation.

      • Dawn D says:

        Throughout MY response? I’m talking about my experience. I can tell you that when I was feeling happy in my mind, I was often the one seeking sexual encounters with my spouse and was never just lying limply there. But when the other person prefers to revert to their fantasies in their mind while fucking you, rather than actually try to discover how you work, what you like and so on… it is hard to not revert to the same thing yourself if you are ever to get off even a little. When the other person tells you repeatedly that they don’t fancy you because you are too fat, you know that it’s not you they are making love with, but someone else, that they do indeed consider you nothing but a hole. I agree about the sharing and working together. But for that, you know all too well that it takes two willing partners…
        I find it sad that anyone should find themselves in a situation where there is no communication. That’s why (not only, but a part of why) I left. I wasn’t ready to remain in that situation any more. I was disrespected as a wife, as a mother and as a woman. That’s a lot to take 😉

      • Wasn’t meant to be in response to your reply, but rather the original post.

  3. plutsrus says:

    When I have tried to talk to my dh about this he dismisses it because he feels that since he is older and more experienced than me, he knows what to do. I’m so sorry to say that he doesn’t. He refuses to talk about it which may be one of the reasons we have not had sex in over 10 years. The other reason being he’s too scared to take the Viagra the dr. gave him, he feels he shouldn’t need it. The reason he needs it is that the meds he is on hinder his ability to get stimulated. But what do I know because I’m younger than him and he knows it all.

  4. dragonfly918 says:

    Yep. It’s why I say a big dick is not that special if a bigger dick is attached to it. And big dicks come with penises of every size.

    But as always, it’s a shivering pleasure to read your writing.

  5. Eccentric Art Model says:

    This is great stuff. I love your candidness and thoughtful commentary on penis size issues.

  6. Chris says:

    Your description of stimulation and response, incorporating physical and other factors, should be read and taken to heart by all men. As always, your descriptions of receiving a lover in penetration guide, challenge, and encourage. I with my small penis thank your heartily.

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