memorable merry christmas

today was such a strange day for me in so many ways

it was the best personal christmas i have had with my family in 6 years.

i did not ache for my dead father who’s been absent these 5 years

i did not miss my mother because of her choice in playing favorites the last 2 years

i didn’t even think of my selfish and self centered brother and wish he would care

i was not left immobilized by anger when my spouse took the kids to his family christmas

leaving me alone last monday because i am not welcome at their family only functions

i had both of my prior lovers take time to message me and chat with me for a bit today

gently reminiscing about feelings of the past and a connection that will always remain

i had dear friends contact with me with holiday messages of love and acceptance

the current lover spoke to me yesterday morning about not being available during holidays

i think he is trying to mentally separate me from inclusion in his family time

yet he actually contacted me this evening once his guests left and he had a moment alone

the impossibly rough few years dealing with angry and hostile teenagers were actually over

leaving laughing, happy, people that filled my soul with infinite joy with their presence

it’s the first year i could care less about being remembered or appreciated

i simply made a normal meal and did not worry about my traditions or expectations

i did not ask for help to buy, to cook, to wrap or to clean and it was offered in abundance

i did not go into debt; i made cookies and caramel candied apples and gave them away

my spouse has been kind and has been struggling to make continued efforts

even when he fails he seems to rally and adjust to progressing as being a better partner

this is the first year he has bought presents without complaining about cost

it’s the first time he made an effort to help wrap and organize the house for christmas

this is the first year i did not have to ask for his help in the kitchen as he stayed there

he looked for jobs to do and cleaned up as i went along with meal preparations

it was a sometime awkward dance in the kitchen as i’m not yet used to his presence there

but the fact that he worked without complaint and asked for guidance was not lost on me

it didn’t fill me with suspicions or anger for the 20 years i had to do it all on my own

i wasn’t filled with regret over everything i had missed in my marital relationship

i just let the day unfold from a relaxed and late rising to the unhurried and calm day

this day and its peaceful and gracious hours were a gift in itself of immeasurable value

the contentment of this day has made this a truly merry and memorable christmas

This entry was posted in Affair, Family, Holidays and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to memorable merry christmas

  1. babyd21713 says:

    I am so happy for you….

  2. Hyacinth says:

    What a truly beautuful day 🙂

  3. Dear rougedmount:

    Wow! With a Christmas like that, one could get the impression that you’ve been a good girl…

    Seriously though, given the spectrum of possible outcomes, ya done good. I echo babyd21713 in being glad for you.

    Tipping a glass toward rougedmount, with wishes for a better 2015 …

    Village Idiot

    • rougedmount says:

      i do believe if we took a pole, the results would be i was an exceptionally good girl this year…remember, some girls are at their best, when being delightfully bad.

      • Dear rougedmount:

        I wondered if you could come up with something like that [LOL]. You didn’t disappoint.

        For being your best by being your worst, I have to punish you with this year-end blessing …

        May your seasonal peace be interrupted raucously with great, convulsive braying repeating rhythmically over and over and over and over, time and time again!

        In the midst of this eruptive episode, may you discover with astonishment that the source of this riotous racket is none other than your own voice.

        May this be the result of receiving the porking of your life from the dick of your choice as it pushes you from the plains of the mundane over the Dionysian abyss to swim in the sea of your own sexuality.

        May your every climax build fast and hit like a freight train, yet unfold like the perfect, slow burn that goes on and on and on and on and on seemingly endlessly.

        May you be so wasted by this whenever it happens that you end up checking to see if your clitoris is still attached to your body.

        Pushing any buttons, rougedmount?

        Tell me you’re not smiling … or that your eyes [if nothing else] are not moistening … even a little bit.

        In any event, here’s wishing for you all the very best and ‘worst’ for 2015! You know what I mean!

        Wag that tail, girl! You go.

        Village Idiot

      • rougedmount says:

        it made me smile and laugh out loud. having experienced a similar experience in my past..i know full well the weight of the effortlessness

  4. rosewyn says:

    A wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your special thoughts. And a very Happy New Year to you too!! May 2015 bring you blessings, inner peace, and more love than you could ever imagine.♥

  5. ismeisreallyme says:

    blessings come in so many ways. happy that for you, Christmas was a surprising blessing this year on so many levels! {hugs}

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