the one thing about this man i keep coming back to is that things are just so ‘easy’ with him. every time i see him, it’s just something that is so powerfully evident that it continues to surprise me. he is two completely separate men. when he comes to me, he walks in as a powerful business man who is happy to see me. i immediately take control of him and strip away his public persona and leave him a naked submissive to my needs.
i stay dressed and the power play begins and i can see him leave the tenseness behind. i watch it fall from his shoulders and even his posture changes. his tone of voice and cadence of speech changes as he lets the world and its pressures fall away as i take his clothes from him, as i kiss him and touch him, allow him to touch me.
it’s not just about sex. it’s about him feeling safe with me. i hold him and touch him, i understand him and his needs and he responds to it. he feels like he is not hiding behind the responsibility he has to the world, his family, his business partners and his employees.
i gave him his running gear. we had a conversation where he was talking about the temperatures and being cold. since i knew what he wore when he was with me, my guess was that he ran in something similar when at home. i was right. his words to me were almost verbatim, what i wrote on here about the reasons why he wore them. he doesn’t think about himself because he is so busy thinking about the big picture of his life/business.
the little details having to do with his comfort, simply aren’t important enough for him to pay attention to. his kids are older teen/young adult and they don’t focus on him at that age. what makes me sad for him is that his wife doesn’t pay attention to the little details of his life. he does NOT complain about her, we do not discuss her. however as he shares his life with me, he also shares information about the type of relationship he has with her, as well as all the other people in his life.
he was thrilled with the running gear i gave him. the look on his face was priceless. he was surprised and happy, but he also acknowledged that i had listened to him and that i guessed at his need because of that conversation and so what i gave him was far more than clothes. he’s not used to someone doing that for him.
i told him i love the fact he is so dedicated to running, but i worry about him being cold and uncomfortable. i hate the idea that i can’t take care of him at times and that in the morning when he decides to experiment with the new items, he can pretend that it’s me putting them on him, wrapping him in a warm hug since i’m not there.
i also brought him a mini banana loaf, as it’s his favorite treat, and butter on the side. he was so excited. i got up early and had made it this morning based on another talk we had. then when i pulled out an entire full sized one and handed it to him, he said this was better than Christmas morning. the man was very, very happy and very, very relaxed by the time he left the bed after 5 hours to attend a business function for the evening.