This is just another reminder of the reason that I will never, as long as I draw breath, accept, or even IMAGINE having THAT WOMAN in my life. Years ago,my spouse called his father and told him our family would be evicted in 3 weeks from the house we had lived in for 5 years. Our landlord had finally come to the point in his divorce proceedings that he HAD to sell the house we had been renting from him. He offered for us to purchase it from him, but we now only had a week to make the arrangements, or we simply had to be out of the house.
This was at the beginning of June. Right before the family seasonal business opened. We had ALL the money for the down payment that I had scrimped and saved for over those 5 years. We had made arrangements when we moved in, that we would have a rent to own option on our tenancy. We didn’t qualify for a mortgage on our own, but WOULD HAVE by the end of August, but we didn’t have the time to wait, because of the landlords’ situation. My spouse called his parents, his wealthy parents, talked to his father, explained the situation and asked for him to co-sign so we could get the mortgage.
He said yes. The amount of stress we had been under was enormous and in that moment the relief washed through us and we both cried. We sat there on the sofa and all the uncertainty of what was going to happen with our family, was resolved. Over the next few hours we made plans, we planned, we organized finances and discovered that by owning and not renting, we would be saving $200 a month and after the first year of home ownership, we would be actually SAVING close to $800.
The phone rang that evening just after I had bathed the kids and gotten them to bed. It was his parents. I could hear both of their voices on the phone as his MOTHER said she would NOT allow his father to co-sign the loan for us. That they would NOT help us take on more debt if we couldn’t qualify for a mortgage ourselves. For the sake of 3 months…THREE MONTHS…that woman refused to allow his father to co-sign. Hearing her rant and demand, make ultimatums, made me sick. Blaming me for everything. Not once did my spouse defend me against her attack.
My spouse, of course, didn’t have to deal with the consequences to her decision as he left and went to his parents place for 3 months to run the family business over the summer season. While I on the other hand, had to dismantle a house, pack everything, clean an entire house, find a new place to move to, on 3 week notice, arrange for movers to come get everything, get it into storage and then pack up the kids and pets and drive 2500 miles from where we lived to my parents place for the summer. To say I was resentful, angry and upset is an understatement.
I had only agreed to move from where I was, to this city and that house, was because it was supposed to be a ‘temporary’ move of 2 or possibly 3 years MAXIMUM. It was costing us to live there, money we did not have and we accrued debt at about $600 more a month than we made. We considered the cost of this manageable for this time period, as it would get my spouse the experience he needed in the career field he was in. I could manage our very tight budget because there was a time frame I could live with.
I just got a notification on MLS that had we actually bought that house 7 years ago, for the rent to own price that I had negotiated prior to our tenancy, then we could be the ones who had it up for sale now for $265,000 more than what we would have paid for it. NO RENOVATIONS…simply the location was and is exceedingly prime. Plus the neighborhood was due to explode in value due to the building of other homes on the street in the last open area, as well as a park being built. All of the reasons I chose the house in the first place, have proven to be financially valid.
HER decision to interfere and to spite ME, to not allow her husband to co-sign that mortgage for us for 3 months, meant we had to move 4 times in 3 years and instead of saving money, initially we had to pay increased rent of $700 a month, which meant we had to use our savings to cover the cost, instead of having it set aside for a down payment. The cost of the emotional trauma was harder to quantify. The instability to the kids lives and to our lives, was totally life changing. The consequences to HER actions have impacted our lives ever since and seeing the monetary cost of the sale of that house, has triggered me to remember how hateful she was and how much, besides money, it cost me to stay in this marriage.