i’ve been struggling with a couple of health issues and it’s been a pretty crappy’ish 7 weeks…but not horribly crappy in the scheme of things. i had a pretty intensive 24 hrs that left me exhausted and the medical glue that holds sensors onto skin, all over me and through my hair. it took forever for me to melt it off my skin and gently scrub it away and upwards of 30 minutes to get it out of my hair and scalp before i could even think of shampoo and conditioning.
the result is newborn soft skin covered in scrubbed red blotches and hair that’s so silkie it makes me wish i had somewhere to go so it could be seen. i’m hungry but can’t eat as it upsets my stomach. i’m tired but can’t go to sleep yet because i need to go at a normal time to try and sleep through the night. just a couple of appointments tomorrow, so a relatively easy day. as i sit here, i just had a fantasy about going to bed and how awesome it’s going to feel.
surprisingly, my submissive has moved into a slightly different role. it seems to have developed into more of a relationship and as the person i have started to see, he is actually working out and he has shown to be an incredibly considerate and attentive partner. he remembers every single thing i say to him and stores it into a vault so that he has very quickly built a data base of my preferences. he’s thoughtful and kind. i have gone from a ‘we’ll see’ about the prospects of this relationship, to a ‘this works’. it also works very well. the ‘why’ of why it works for me is pretty simple and something i told him today. it’s simply easy.
he is incredibly smart, he is exceptionally driven, he is highly demanding in the work world and it’s made him very successful. he treats me like a queen. his entire role in this interaction is to service me and meet my needs. to cater to everything i want and anything he can anticipate that i need. he does not want reciprocation or for me to be equal to him in any way. his entire delight with spending time and money on me is in providing me with anything to make my life easier or happier. tell me a down side? there isn’t one.
he travels a lot for work and has asked me to come with him a couple of times now. it’s been long enough now, that i am comfortable with travelling with him and so i will spend a long week end, next month in a mountain resort city about 8 hours from home. he will fly me there to meet him on the return portion of a work trip, then rent a car for us to be able to explore. of course he plans on taking me shopping to pick up some things for both of us. this means he will easily spend more money than i am comfortable with, depending on what i indicate i like. i will try to avoid it for the most part, in favor of exploring the area.
this will be a ‘trial run’ trip for us. he has asked me to join him on a couple of his longer work trips and i didn’t feel it would be appropriate until after we started smaller. trans atlantic flights and visiting 4-6 countries over 2 weeks with someone you have recently started dating is not exactly a good idea in case you end up not enjoying the others company. what has surprised me that even when he goes away, his level of communication with me is frequent and stable. he is basically doing everything right when it comes to the things i need in order to feel secure.
he seems to like me quite a bit as well as enjoying the void i fill in his life. he is pragmatic and i meet his needs. he recognizes the value of my company and he is focused on doing whatever it takes to keep me happy, so that i am content to stay with him. i excite him simply because in his real world position he is dominant with a strong attitude in the work place, yet it means nothing to me. he is completely submissive to me and i am the single person that he is that way with.
the entire dynamic was established after i was exceptionally stern with him, after politely rejecting his advances, and explaining in a very authoritarian way of why he was not what i was looking for or who i wanted. once i reprimanded and dismissed him, he knew i would be the one woman who he truly wanted to be submissive with as part of a lifestyle choice, albeit a hidden one. that works for me. in public he is very much as he appears: successful and demanding. yet the second he shows any signs of impatience or impertinence, all it takes is a look or a tone of voice from me, to change him instantly.
to be honest, i am treating him very well, if somewhat strictly when together. the fact that i do not pine for him or chase him, means that he is very aware of his need to stay inside of my peripheral vision. my maturity level and understanding of him and his needs, means that we are highly compatible. it’s not even an effort. it is simply very easy and completely natural. i am neither worried or concerned about him or his presence while with me or away. he likes that i know myself and him, so well.
so i really am enjoying this new found experience and man. it’s easy to engage someone who is highly interested in making my life better and more enjoyable in any way he can. he uses all of the resources available to him to ensure it happens.
because i am not very materialistic, he pushes things on me. i am learning to accept it graciously and he absolutely delights in my authentic pleasure with receiving something. though he has mentioned i am just as happy with a starbucks frozen latte as i am with an expensive necklace. i think he is not used to people not wanting from him all the time and as a result, he wants to freely give to me. i have benefited greatly from his generosity with me, though he says all the time that he is fortunate to have found me and been aggressive enough in his pursuit of me, that it got my attention. He wanted to explain why his submissiveness would work for me, if i gave him a chance. I did and it has.