childhood scars

I remember being young and angry

Masks that you wear when scared

I had potential violence inside of me

Protective response of the fragile soul

It desperately tried to shelter me

I learned to hide my authentic self

I rejected the negativity verbally

But believed everything I heard

Kernels of doubt grew into like weeds

Where they were carelessly thrown

So I had to fight others and myself

Leaving me vulnerable to rejection

Never allowing me to trust others

Honesty was and is a foreign word

Made up by people who lie and inflict hurt

Angry, mistrustful and damaged girl

Became self aware with age and experience

No longer raw with the pain of youth

The patina of my colourful past is muted

Experience, a thing of interest and beauty

The gouges and scars of my conflicts

Surface visible and hiding the deeper ones

Caused by rejections you never get over

No matter how far you remove yourself

From the cause of all your bad memories

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One Response to childhood scars

  1. rosewyn says:

    Can definitely relate to this post. Your words hit home. I hope you’ve found a way to make peace with the pain you suffered. It never goes away, but I’ve tried to reduce it’s power over me by bringing it into the light so that it can wither and die although its carcass will remain with me till the end. Sending you a hug rougedmount.♥

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