personal lies

I lie to myself all the time.

Lie about moving on

Not needing anyone

Being fine with it all

Lie about not being strong

I’m not

I’m weak

I’m vulnerable

I’m fragile

This is just easier

Being apart and alone

Far less chance of pain

Of being hurt or disappointed

Let down

Forgotten

I lie because it’s simpler

Pretending that my feelings

Recover after healing

And life moves forward

But it doesn’t

It hasn’t

Negativity chases me to darkness

Isolating me in despair

And I fight the battle daily

Never fully recovering

Before the next attack

Slowly losing myself

Under the cumulative weight

Of fear and pain

Rejection

Sadness

Some days I just want to sleep

Allow myself the respite

From the despair

And battles

Letting the softness of blankets

Slide over sensitive skin

Instead of the harshness of words

Irritating translucent emotions

Sinking into the luxury of a warm bed

Instead of being surrounded

By the cold reality

That I lie to myself

This entry was posted in depression, Who I am. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to personal lies

  1. Rincewind says:

    We all lie to ourselves and I hate myself for it. I wish I could change it but I will keep on doing it. Loved this post.

  2. Rincewind says:

    Reblogged this on Erotixx and commented:
    A well worthy reblog from Rougedmount

  3. littleannab says:

    Oh my I do same. I felt like you wete in my mind.

  4. I quit lying to myself, and I live up to those things which cause others despair. It has made me less vulnerable and weak. I am what I am. Nothing else will do.

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