I saw that you’d re blogged this post and commented on it and it made me curious… You’ve alluded to your husband being unable to perform in the past but I’d never seen you spell it out (maybe I didn’t read back far enough). Is it just that he’s on the small side? I hear your frustration in your comment on the small penis thing and his lack of being able to speak and share his feelings and insecurity. While I think the folks who write and post on that small penis blog have some intense hang ups and a fetish for being humiliated about having a small dick, I know what it’s like to be insecure about it and how that insecurity can lead to feeling inadequate….and how that can color your whole world if you let it.
which inspired this post as a detailed reply.
Penis size: my spouse’s penis is very, very small to begin with. He has gained a tummy over the last 15 yrs which has diminished his penis to the point of inversion when soft and barely able to be inserted when hard. At least before his weight gain, what he did have was usable even though it meant severely limited positions. I was fine with that simply because the positions worked for me anatomically and I never failed to orgasm. I am not blaming him for a weight gain and not being attracted to him. I certainly have gained weight as well. The problem is that because he is so small to start with, he could not afford to gain any weight and lose what penis length he had. My spouse is exceptionally attractive. Which makes his disappearing penis all the harder to accept.
Psychologically: he would deny sex over the duration of the marriage as a form of passive aggressive control. His list of excuses was almost comical. He stopped having sex with me after 5 years of an intense and satisfying sex life with sexual activity 7-10 times a week. Once I became pregnant (and a mother) he was completely done with intimacy with me and became a completely different man. I was no longer a woman but a mother, a broodmare. The change happened immediately and has never recovered. Google ‘Madonna Complex”.
Physically: his premature ejaculation is 100% uncontrolled, no matter what efforts I made to correct it. Insert everything you can think of as a way to resolve it, as I have tried it. Nothing works because he does not want it to work. The easiest way for him to avoid sex completely is to make sure I am completely unsatisfied, so I stop harassing him for it. Most men don’t understand this, but then again most men don’t suffer from being maternally castrated.
Medically: over the last 8-9? Years he has had health issues that make his erections far and few between. Once erect, he is very soft and can’t keep it up for long and if he can manage to use it, in the small window of opportunity he has, then of course, premature ejaculation is an issue as 90% of the time, he cums on penetration and the other 10% perhaps after a minute or 2. He can not last long enough for me or anyone else to orgasm. He refuses to seek medical assistance as he feels it is NOT an issue no matter how much I insist that it was and is.
Attitude: when he can’t get hard, stay hard, cums too soon etc. he is angry with ME. He blames me for exciting him too much, for being too tired, for losing concentration, for having too much concentration. You expect a man to have performance issues occasionally, as an understanding and patient woman, but not every single time. He would storm off in a huff because I ruined things. He would not use fingers, mouth or toys to compensate or to reciprocate an orgasm for me. He cums and goes. One and Done. Fuck and forgotten.
Sex with a small penis: personally, I fuck a small penis, a small penis doesn’t fuck me. It’s easy for me to position it inside of me, so I can orgasm easily. Just lay there and I will do the work. Since it used to be my preferred method of orgasm, I was completely content with his small package. USED TO BE. I was forced into learning other ways, simply because he withheld himself long enough, I accepted that an affair which may result in divorce if discovered, was worth the risk compared to living as I was.
Sex with a small/average penis: my spouses refusal to have sex with me, led me to have an affair. The man has basically the same size penis as my spouse before his weight gain. I was with him 2.5yrs and very sexually content and pleased. I had no desire or need to be with someone who was more heavily endowed. The man and his cock were a perfect fit for me. I did not have the affair because of my spouses small penis, but because of everything else. I did not seek out a man who had a bigger cock as it really wasn’t a factor when selecting a man I wanted to spend time with.
Sex with an average cock: this is my discovery of a difference between a penis and a cock. Of being fucked instead of fucking. A man with a completely average endowment of a solid 6 inches. 6 inches of glorious cock flesh that made me into something beyond a woman. Not only did he know how to use it, he made me take it and I have never been so full of anything in my life. He used his entire body to fuck me, not just his cock and it made him a perfect lover. All women deserve to be fucked like this at some point in their life. If he had been any bigger, I am positive I would not have been able to handle the experience AND the cock.
Sex with a large cock: Is not all it is portrayed as being. The biggest issue is many men who are well endowed have NO clue how to use it properly. None. They are useless as lovers because they have a sense of entitlement simply for showing up and unveiling the thing. They are lazy. Then you do have the other side, a well hung man who DOES know what to do and who does it well. He uses cock as a simple extension of his mouth, body, fingers simply to bring pleasure. When this happens, it’s rare and it’s an experience. It’s an out of body experience. But it is also very hard to handle every single day as it becomes a marathon of endurance. It may be a nice concept but it’s hard to live with as a reality.
Misconceptions: I think many men who are under endowed assume that a woman will have the kind of mind altering sex I detailed in ‘sex with a large cocked man with a clue’ with anyone who is bigger than they are. Bigger is NOT always better. Size means nothing without the attitude of wanting to pleasure your partner to the point of her not being able to think coherently. I love how another blogger, KDaddy, always talks about sex with a woman. It makes me sigh with want as he gets it. Anyone can have sex and get off…few men take the time to give their partner a sexual experience. When a woman finds THAT man, his penis size is virtually irrelevant.