lust betrays

My body betrays me and it complicates the simple subject of sexual congress. Physical needs scream at me, making a mockery of the notion that I am in control of myself. I’m not. Sinfully, I want. Sinfully, I remember. Sinfully, I imagine. How long has it been since he touched me? How long will I feel the ghost of his fingers, tracing me, claiming me, remembering my response, when a gentle breeze washes over my sensitive skin?

In every daily exertion or nocturnal reclined position, there is the potential of response, with the mere idea of his presence. The gasp wrought from my lips, when entering the ocean to swim, reminds me of the changing temperature when he covered my body; when he submerses inside of my mind, when he purposefully took my body. I want, I want, I want. It forever impacts my life.

I want to inhale him, bury my face into his neck as he holds me. I can feel the hardness of his chest and shoulders. I can feel the tautness of his stomach as he flexes and adjusts his hold on me, as he moves to reposition me. I can feel his body, his hands, as he cups my jaw to lift my face for his kiss. The weight of his lips, knocks the breath from me like a well landed punch, during a lightweight boxing match.

Carnal attraction; desperate physical longing, subservient to sexual desire, demanding immediate conquest. How I crave his entry into my soul, using my body as the medium. I want my being to be the canvas, to his craven cock proud art. I want him to play with me until exhaustion and have him push me, push me, push me until all limits have vanished into the sweet spent, wet offerings that are left between us.

Lust. It’s a word rarely used, often neglected and highly sought after. It imprints onto your mind until every sinful desire becomes a shallow representation, a shadowed image of the reality it encapsulates. He is the only reason that ever existed; the cause of my mind wandering and my body aching with unreleased sensual tension. There is no solace in another’s arms, when my mind and soul are elsewhere.

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18 Responses to lust betrays

  1. ismeisreallyme says:

    I will admit that I thought I knew lust, true lust until I met him. I am irrevocably changed and lust, well lust unequivocally has been redefined forever. Thank you for sharing.

  2. dragonfly918 says:

    Oh yes.

    Every. Fucking. Day. No weekends off. No vacation.

  3. Village Idiot says:

    Thus we discover that we live …

    Village Idiot

  4. Ned's Blog says:

    So many wonderfully descriptive passages in this, full of imagery and emotion. My favorite?

    “How I crave his entry into my soul, using my body as the medium.”

    Brilliant.

    • rougedmount says:

      the difference between sex and lovemaking…the difference between fucking and encouraging a relationship to grow…the difference is context and intent…and it is everything when you have it and impossible to ignore if you want it and it’s not offered.

      • Ned's Blog says:

        It wasn’t until my wife and I kissed for the first time that I understood what a kiss should be, and everything that came after that redefined what I thought I knew about lovemaking — and it made me somewhat regretful for the years I spent in a marriage that, on the rare occasion of intimacy, I felt I had been obliged more than desired. The absence of what my wife and I share now, on every level emotionally and physically, is something I can’t fathom.

      • rougedmount says:

        the gift of that connection will be given to the people in your life who witness it

      • Ned's Blog says:

        It’s an example I hope our children will always carry with them and recognize in the eyes of those they come to love.

      • rougedmount says:

        they will see it..i certainly saw it in my Grandparents and Parents relationship which was the 2nd for each of them. It’s why I could simply not comprehend the lack of it in my own. Surely if you just worked enough, then it would happen, right? Surely, if you allowed for the stress of life and the change of careers, things got better, right?
        The SINGLE thing I have learned about that spark of lust/love is that it can not be forced and it can not be nurtured into existence. It is either there or it is not. The rarity of TWO people having that passion at the same time for the other person, each imagining them self to be the most fortunate one,to have the other, THAT elusive and most wonderful thing should never be discounted or overlooked. Responsibilities and life will always ebb and flow around you, but when there is this electricity between people, added with TRUST and respect, then you have what everyone else wants. You can get by and be thrilled at your blessings because you are truly happy.

      • Ned's Blog says:

        I couldn’t have said that any better. And unless you have witnessed or been blessed with that kind of connection, it’s hard to understand the depth. In our eight years together, we’ve been through a lot, transitioning into a blended family, including establishing a foundation with our autistic son, as well as dealing with our exes and just the everyday challenges of life that constantly seem to pull at our lives. And through all of that, having each other at the end of the day and sharing a love based on appreciation, respect and passion for each other has made all of it seem “easy.”

        Just as an example, for our anniversary last August, we got each other the very same anniversary card from two different stores. We framed them 😉

      • rougedmount says:

        people just don’t get it..until they get it. and are too afraid to pursue it when they have stability.

      • Ned's Blog says:

        Ironically, living life for the sake of stability often leaves us out of balance.

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