I am so royally fucked. I know I have to do a complete lifestyle change and sit myself down and go over my priorities. What do I want, what are my goals, what do ‘I’ want. Its funny…it all spins in my head like a gust of blowing leaves with every leaf representing something or someone different in my world. And every single time I reach out to pull a leaf to me, it’s the same fucking leaf. There seems to be lots of choice but ultimately, my attraction keeps bringing me back to the same one.
I want him. Because I was pissed with spouse I said fuck it and called him, he came. And so I was punished for staying away from him so long. Physically he just about kills me when it comes to his ability to arouse me. I don’t get wet, I flood. My labia becomes so engorged and puffy that if you drizzled chocolate over me and filled me with cream, I would look like an éclair. My nipples peak so hard that the entire shape alters; it’s as if they know exactly how he suckles them and how much they want him to.
How can you call it arousal, when it leaves your muscles, and I mean ALL your muscles, spent and exhausted? When your thighs ache from released tension, when your fingers ache from clenching the sheets? Jesus, even my toes feel tired from being curled and released 1000 times. When I see him I can’t focus on anything else. The world becomes infinitely smaller. He is so masculine and perfect that it hurts to touch him.
His deltoids and biceps, his shoulders and neck, are all rock hard, large, super defined, his chest is wide, and silken steel. How can you think about anything when this is being pressed against you.
When a man who is hard and sinew, muscles and brawn wants the softness of your body and the heat of your touch on his? It’s been so long since I allowed him access, I wasn’t thinking about the consequences to that. His control is as iron clad as he is. He punished me for not making time for him. He used me sexually and he used me very hard. His gentleness kept separate; his touch was firm and absolute and the demanding, punishing touch was always right there at the forefront.
He pinned my arms, he pushed me down and held me there, he slapped my ass making me jump and every time, it would make me impale myself hard onto his cock. He did not give me a break, did not allow me respite. He fucked me until I was mindless and sweating, until the bed was a delightful mess of soaked sheets. He used himself and a toy, his fingers and himself, always he kept coming back to his cock. His glorious hard, ever ready, rigid cock.
I have never met a man who is able to thrust hard indefinitely and have complete control until he wants to cum, other than him. What he did to me today, I needed so badly. It takes me away from my world, from my life, from my self. And it’s not just the gentleness in which he commands me, that sets me on fire for him, it’s the two sides. It’s the powerful, demanding, uncompromising maleness.
I knew as soon as he came to my bed today that his mood was volatile. The minute his hands touched me, my stomach dropped and I knew I was in trouble. He was claiming sovereign dominion over my body and trying to get inside of my mind. Making me his with every forceful touch and gentling hand. He was growlie and vocal, hard and so passionate. Then would move my hair back off my face gently and softly kiss me.
I am spent and exhausted. I have been well and truly fucked and used like a woman should be. Today was not about building bridges or sweetness of lovers. It was about making me pay physically for keeping my body from him and for him to claim me back so I don’t forget what it feels like to be under his control. I KNOW I should have stayed away from him, but he is the only one who can make me be myself. I can’t balance myself, not even close, like he is able to.
He was not patient; he was a mating, rutting, breeding hulk of a man who demanded that I take everything he wanted to give me. I had no choices, no chance, no respite. I was his. my body, my mind, my orgasm, my tears. His to hold, to stroke, to quiet, to soothe, to kiss. Now I have myself back again. My stability and my calmness. It’s amazing that sexual congress with a man who knows what he is doing, can make you better than you were, more than you anticipated.
If you need me for the next 3 hours, I’ll be napping.