Relationships are like Sand

Relationships evolve, they are the sand that fills in the spaces of a productive life. If you expect to HAVE a good relationship, it can not simply BE the medium in and of itself, due to its unstable nature. The stability comes from everything else in your life, making you and keeping you, who you are and want to be.

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13 Responses to Relationships are like Sand

  1. Ned's Blog says:

    As one who lives near the Oregon Dunes, I can tell you that shifting sand can consume everything in its path and forever change the terrain of what was once familiar to something unrecognizable. While it is an element of beauty it is not, in and of itself, beautiful or complete. It needs equal amounts of boundary and natural freedom to be fully appreciated.

  2. hispetitelle says:

    Wow! You just summed up everything I have been feeling.

  3. G Richard says:

    “Relationships… are the sand the fills in the spaces of a productive life” – I respect you, I truly admire you, I love the symbolism, but despite being eerily familiar with this statement, I must simply disagree. A relationship IS THE ONLY “productive” life – all else is merely a hollow and empty illusion that fills the voids between relationships. There is NOTHING more important, NOTHING more fulfilling, NOTHING more meaningful than a relationship – as crafted by its participants to meet their most basic human needs. Each and every “top 20 moments” of my life are associated with relationships. Not one single “top 20 moment” is tied to an act of productivity (unless of course you are speaking of sex on the beach in Menominee – summer 1974 – which was by definition very productive). A very wonderful friend has made that clear to me – and I thank her for that. The wonder of that connection is what drives men to be men – it is the very reason to strive for yet another breath – it is the essence of passion itself. Death and impermanence are our only realities – “forever” is a disingenuous fantasy. Our actions in our present tense are our only permanent marks on time. No, I am not as talented a writer,,, fumble and grasp for the perfect words,,, I admit to having limited artistic prose ,,, but my feelings, my desires, and my fire are nonetheless as well considered as those who would write in the genre of Fifty Shades – just much less erotic. Dance as you will Beautiful Lady, beckon as you wish from the safety of anonymity, but before the harsh lights of finality come on,,,, take your chosen path of action. You are wonderful – I am better for knowing you – keep on writing for all of us.

    • rougedmount says:

      I can understand and appreciate why you feel the way you do. My beliefs come from dissecting the minutiae of my life, after a series of catastrophic damages to relationships that forced me to re-evaluate everything I thought I believed.

      Every one of us stands alone. We fight our own demons, learn our own lessons and grow to our potential, all as individuals. At the moment of our greatest pain and fear, we are alone. Every woman who has ever given birth, knows that you go deep inside of yourself to survive the ordeal of bringing another person into the world. Anyone who has stood vigil over a person as they lay dying, know the exact same thing happens when the moment of death draws close.

      Relationships give definition to the structure of your life. They give emotional context and purpose to a life. People can survive without relationships But it’s been shown that the quality of their life, greatly diminishes even to the point that it will cause permanent mental disorders. Some people even choose to end their own life that suffer the pain of solitude.

      Our life is not a series of relationships but one of personal connectivity, some holding more importance than others. We define the level of involvement and emotional interaction of every person we come into contact with. The reason why we can continue after someone dies or hurts us, is because our survival instinct, our self preservation, ensures that we progressively move through pain of separation or betrayal for our own mental and emotional health.

      The sand, the people, can and do alter and change as we live life. They fill in the areas of need and come along to support and sometimes undermine, the pillars of what have as the foundation of our lives that enable us to be who we are. It is why we feel sad when we part from family and friends and why we feel joy when we introduce new people or love interests that are compatible with our view of ourselves and who compliment our views and ideals.

      Those are the things that stay with us. Not relationships. It’s why we have to value the ones that are important to us, when they are there, because like sand, they can shift away before we even realize their importance to us. It leaves us feeling hollow from the empty places we feel inside of us once it’s gone, as we had no idea that it took up so much room when it was there.

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