the standing offer

I had forgotten about my standing offer from a potential sexual, surrogate partner. He messaged me this morning reminding me of our long friendship, his availability and his complete sincerity in what he is looking for and what he can provide. He has contacted me a few times since he came back into the country and I have politely kept him at arms length. But today was quite different. He was very upfront with me; no innuendo or flirting. It’s like waking up Christmas morning to a beautifully wrapped package under your tree, knowing that it contains exactly what you were looking for. You stand there admiring it and try to decide when the perfect moment would be to tear into it.

I have been reticent to accept his offers over the years. He doesn’t want a ‘relationship’ and I highly doubt he could maintain a conventional one anyway. His career is rocketing and it means that he has no time, at all, for the cultivation of romance and communication a woman would expect and require to make things work. His job puts him into the public spotlight almost daily. He garners lots of attention, not only for his looks but his athletic skill and for the people he has in his social circle.

This means that there are a very large number of groupies who offer their sexual favour to him on a daily basis in quite an aggressive manner. What they don’t understand is that this turns him off entirely. I have known him 4 years and I could care less about his ‘job’. My opinion of the man does not change simply because of what he does. My very lack of being impressed and simply being interested in him as a whole is why he has always liked me.

Plus I speak very plainly to him and I have never tried to suck up to him for what he does, like so very many other women do. It is my dominant and confidant nature that he likes. You can not compare me to the gym hard bodied, surgically enhanced women who go to extreme measures to promote their self image. They have killer bodies and for the most part have chosen to be childless. They do not see me as any sort of threat or competition, as I am far removed from what they look like.

Yet, he wants me and has for years. I am not competitive with him and I do not look at him as a social status elevator or meal ticket. I am sexual without being promiscuous. I am sensual and am very much a demanding giver. Because of what he does, this ability for me to be in control, relaxes him and removes all stress from him. I am a safe, warm haven in a sheltered bay of desires and he can allow himself to be manipulated and used for my self pleasuring purposes. No wonder he wants me, it sounds good even to me.

If I took emotionality out of the question, then it would make complete sense to use this mans body for what it’s begging for. He wants to be my sexual toy and plaything. He wants me to tease him and deny him. he wants me to get him hard again and again over the evening until his cock hurts from the constant engorgements. He wants me to be a cock teaser who eventually allows him the release of my body.

It would turn him on, knowing others could see this and wonder at what will happen between us. He wants me to ensure that his cock gets noticed as being hard inside his pants. He wants to watch me tease other men, flirt with them and have him watch and be turned on by it. He wants to have me tease him and walk away, seeming to choose someone else, leaving his cock hard and unable to get the release he craves. He wants the frustration and arousal it brings.

And then he wants me to fuck him; his glorious, thick, 9.5 inches of cut, man meat. He is a well hung cuckold who would submit to sharing me and having me get sexual gratification from other, well hung men as well. He would like his cock teased as he waited and watched me. I would have the power and make the decisions about our sexual relationship and his cock is merely a tool I use when and how I see fit.

It’s a tough offer to walk away from. And I am wondering why I have for so long. Dominant Sexual gratification, while not my priority, is still very much a way to at least have physical release. And I would be completely free to seek out the type of man who would be able to mentally fuck me. Or free to reintroduce one back into my life, if I choose to. After all, it seems that I make the sexual rules; as long as I overlook the fact that I still share a house with an impotent man who does not believe me when I tell him I need sex and am looking for it elsewhere and thinks that his refusal to talk about it, means continued abstinence on my part.

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14 Responses to the standing offer

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    You are so strong; most women in your situation would take that man up on his offer and just go for it…

    • rougedmount says:

      kdaddy..i am seriously considering doing just that..i can’t actually be impulsive..heaven i can’t take the sexual frustration…and after yesterday..jesus..after yesterday, my body has reminded me that i am vibrant and healthy and its been far far far too long since i have been in a healthy physical relationship with someone.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I’m not sure you have an impulsive bone in your body and more so since this man is obviously a known quantity; it’s not as if you’d be diving headfirst into the unknown – it would be more like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes that you haven’t worn in a while.

        You know that you could do this and “get away” with it; you are right on the edge of “official negotiated infidelity” and, honestly, I don’t know how you deal with the stresses involved with being celibate when you know good and damned well you don’t have to be – and can still do your duty to your family.

        So the tough question for you is: Why not do this thing for yourself? Then I’m wondering – and with all respect – what you’re going to say to convince yourself that you shouldn’t reactivate this standing offer. It seems to me – and, again with all respect – that you keep forgetting Rule Number One: Take care of yourself first. I hardly think that I need to remind you that if you can’t help yourself, you can’t do shit for anyone else (oh, I just reminded you, didn’t I?).

        Just saying; you do what you gotta do and for whatever reason you have to do it but, damn, woman, go get laid.

      • rougedmount says:

        lol..i love when you talk dirty to
        his email came unexpectedly this morning after a restless and mostly sleepless night because of my intense and continuing arousal from yesterday. i may have responded differently if i was satiated… oh and i do take offence at your thinking i have no impulsive bone in my DO…but my impulsivity is reserved for indecent acts within a relationship where i feel safe…and then i can be delightfully outside of this, i consider rash behaviour as reckless…
        anyway..the more i have been thinking the past hour, the more i am thinking i am going to reinvent myself over the next 4 months and do things i have never done..

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Of course, I meant no offense… but as you describe it, nah, you’re not impulsive – you think first, then act if it is, as you say, safe. Can’t and won’t speak to what may happen after that.

        You frustrate me for some reason; you have so much angst and anger toward your husband; you have a great deal of lust and desire stored up within you and while you’ve occasionally managed to scratch that itch, you just keep finding reasons not to scope out a victim with a nice, long, fat dick, and then do some safe victimizing – and you know that you could do it and not get your head handed to you by an uncaring husband.

        I admire the restraint and your dedication to your family… but, fuck, you really need to go get your shit wrecked similar to some of your writings!

      • rougedmount says:

        i was not ‘offended’ i was amused…and i DO want to correct you in one thing though..i am not ‘angry’ at my spouse. i used to be and i have occasional flare ups that are completely situational..but i am no longer’angry’ with him.
        and i understand your frustration because i am frustrated by myself as well. i have a strong desire to be sexually faithful and honest with my partner. and that is not what you get from affairs. so what i need physically goes against what i need mentally.
        i know it’s stupid…but it’s my makeup. i have spent so long protecting the nuclear family for the sake of my sons development, that is very hard (impossible) for me to step out of easily…even though i am trying.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I understand it – it puts you and women like you between a rock and a hard place and, yes, that your son has those special needs that require a great deal of your attention… but, damn. It’s nigh impossible t be sexually faithful to a partner who won’t have sex with you; yes, there’s some “rightness” going on here – for better or for worse… but damn!

        It’s not stupid and your faithfulness in this situation is one of the things I admire about you – you epitomize the good and faithful wife. I know one’s emotional needs tend to differ greatly from one’s physical needs… but, girlfriend, you seriously need to unhitch the horses from the wagon and let them run loose!

        It is possible – and I know you know this – to separate your emotional needs from your physical ones, to let your husband take care of the first thing… but to let others take care of the second thing. Someone asked me once why I “let” my wife go out and fuck other people and what I’d tell them is that if she does it and it makes her happy, then I get to deal with a happy wife instead of one who’s frustrated and pissed off because she has a need that either (a) I can’t fulfill or (b) she doesn’t want me to fulfill it – and not because I couldn’t wreck her shit nine ways to Sunday – she just liked it when it wasn’t me doing her.

        It made her happy and, emotionally, deepened our connection with each other. A lot of women in your situation can’t do this thing… but you KNOW you can do it. And I’ll even bet that you know that you could step out and get your hot ass knocked into the next zip code – and your dealings with your family wouldn’t suffer one iota – because that’s the woman I believe you to be.


        You know you want to; you know you have to…

      • rougedmount says: so made me laugh..i would be remiss if i didn’t point out that many people would not consider me ‘a good and faithful wife’..i tried. and the other thing is my spouse does NOT take care of me emotionally..not even CLOSE..which is why there is such a void in my life.. I am missing everything, which makes me feel lost and vulnerable, which makes me seek protection and comfort as well as a sexually arousing partnership. when it all comes in ONE man its brilliant.. i have to learn to accept multiple needs can have multiple partners. My spouse simply wants the title of ‘man who has a wife and family”- he doesn;t actually want to DO anything with us other than pay the bills.

  2. Jayne says:

    I never forgot you had this offer. I understand your indecision though. Maybe the unknown of his offer is stopping you. It’s just a guess from an over thinker.

    • rougedmount says:

      lol..then you should have reminded me, as i forgot completely!
      what is stopping me, what has stopped me, is 2 things.
      1.) the sexual freedom of just taking what you want and making no excuses and having no relationship is an enormous mind shift for me and makes me uncomfortable. i am trying to get over it
      2.) i have had to be the dominant alpha assertive female chasing my spouse, begging him, fighting him for sex and while i know and can certainly be IN the role of a very dominant woman, it;s not the thing that excites me. I have discovered that a man as strong as I am, or more so, who will not allow me to make the rules and control the play is exactly the type of man i need to be sexually fulfilled completely, the way i need

      • Jayne says:

        You are a very upfront, smart and outspoken woman Well, except with that neighbor, who is an elder I believe so it’s understandable She’s unbelievable! : ) So, I was not going to say anything. : ) Besides, I feel familiar with these things you speak about except that I couldn’t make the mind shift for #1 and I think I need to be completely free to enjoy myself without the repercussions of “cheating” or feeling anything BUT good about another man. I think we each /all have our own ideas of what we can take / have and we make decisions from that. It’s a lot to have a relationship like that “on the side”. It has to be overwhelmong, damning, incriminating, along with totally exciting and fulfilling until you go home to the one that doesn’t fulfill you. At least that’s what I imagine. It probably would be worth it though…who the hell knows? No one but you knows if you go through with it. Besides, I didn’t think this guy would disappear on you. I wish you peace in whatever decision you make.

  3. dievca says:

    Uhh, maybe I am really shallow…..go for it.

  4. Pua Nani says:

    After reading your posts yesterday I’m really hoping you will allow yourself some sexual satisfaction…maybe you could have them both?

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