you’re not tall

I have very, very tall children. So tall in fact, that people comment on their height all the time. Being singled our for ANYTHING, in their young adult, late teenager life brings on an enormous amount of stress, as they decide on how to handle the unwanted attention. One of my sons is finding it extremely difficult because he is even taller than the other two. Technically speaking, he is a little over the average height for a NBA basketball player, which is what I have told him to tell people who randomly say, “Wow, you’re tall” in his presence.

While at dinner this evening, we were talking about various comebacks he was going to have to arm himself with, to deflect unwanted attention with humor, when people make him feel self conscious about his height. One of the suggestions from a sibling was, “Well, from my vantage point you’re abnormally short”. Another was “Height isn’t the only place I have a big size”. The suggestions deteriorated from that point forward until finally a brother leaned over and said “Okay, if a cute girl says you’re tall, you can just tell her “” I’m not tall at all, if you’re on top””.

Everyone at our table burst our laughing in a semi crowded restaurant and struggled to get a hold of ourselves, as everyone covertly glanced our way in curiosity at what was possibly so amusing. It would have been hard to explain, considering the content of the conversation. I told him that his complaining about his height is pointless, as it is not going to change. Also, that a man complaining about how tall he is would be akin to complaining about how much money he had or how big his dick was, neither of which would garner any sympathy from anyone hearing the complaint.

His look was priceless, sort of reminiscent of “the angry cat” mixed with a high degree of barely restrained amusement. I said, please, it’s not like you aren’t going to use those comments sometime in the future with your friends.” To which he finally laughed and nodded his acquiescence to me and said “True, I totally will.” I love the fact they have learned how to use humor and sarcasm. They make me laugh with honest amusement at their quick minds and witty comments.

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10 Responses to you’re not tall

  1. I love this! My kids are extremely tall as well. And people are always gawking and commenting, and of course come the almighty basketball questions. Thankfully they don’t seem to be bothered by it, but some days it does get old…and they’re always coming up with cool comebacks as well. Nathan likes to ask if they play mini golf or cricket lol. What a witty family you’ve got, sounds a lot like mine lol.

  2. revealedwoman says:

    What a lovely moment, sharing ‘how to deal with life and the issues it throws up’ with your family.
    You must be quite tall yourself.
    My son is ‘only’ 6’3″ and I love hugging him, reaching on tiptoes to put my arms round him. But presumably you’d need a stepstool to do that with any of yours!

    • rougedmount says:

      i am exceptionally tall genetically..probably about 5’10? 5’11 though by actual measurement i am a solid…5’1 and a half …lol..people ask if they are mine and i say yes..the stork was their father

  3. Tonight my son reminded me how short I am getting. He still has several years of growth and he towers over me. He has replaced any term for ‘mother’ with ‘miniature’. Very endearing.

    • rougedmount says: it.. mine say mini momma or puny parental person…they love making a big deal of reaching waaaaaaay up there onto the 2nd shelf in the kitchen when i have to get a step stool to get to the back of the shelf..

  4. What is so funny is one of the teachers at my son’s school is extremely tall….he has to be every bit of 7 feet tall (the 2nd graders heads come to his ass). I was looking at him the other day and it dawned on me that he MUST have a huge dick to go along with the rest of his body. It would be so strange for it to be anything less than a foot long. Haha

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