the drawer

There is no passion without lust

No poetry or skilful wording

There is neutrality reminiscent of medication

No sorrowful diatribes and breaking hearts

No soulful searching or finite decisions

There is a simplicity to my life right now

Born of past hurts and the benefit of time

I have filled my waking hours

Avoiding the gaps in my life

Delicately placing that time in my life

Into a delicate lace wrapping

Far into the back of my lingerie drawer

To be brought out occasionally

And touched with fond remembrance

Through the shroud of a distant time

When I believed in the miracle of love 

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6 Responses to the drawer

  1. How funny a lingerie drawer contains the restless memories of such a powerful interaction. Why don’t you play with someone who appreciates you and make life easier? Why do writers choose people who ruffle their feathers? I know why. We do it because we were brought here not to love, but to learn.

  2. I feel the same way about my lingerie drawer. All that sexy stuff going to waste. Sigh. I too am no longer sure that I believe in love–at least not the same way that I used to. I’m not sure if passion and lust can last any significant amount of time. Maybe I just need to be satisfied with a life-long companion and a series of flings on the side to get that rush that I need.

    Are you looking for another affair partner, or waiting for them to find you?

    • rougedmount says:

      i am on a massive hiatus..not only am i not looking for an affair partner , i am actively trying to ensure i don’t find one by completely filling my day. it was the only thing i could do to try and fix my lingering sadness. i have invested a year now into my spouse and if nothing else – it has confirmed his lack of ability is a major issue and will be for the rest of his life. He is a fine companion. I like him. But there is a very thin, limited sexual interaction between us. I will need a lover at some point. I need sex. But he is not ready to discuss that and I speak of it quite often now.

  3. hemmingplay says:

    Devils’s Advocate here: I understand the context, but these lines jumped out at me:

    “Through the shroud of a distant time
    When I believed in the miracle of love.”

    A while ago, I would have felt the same. I have loved, and lost, and endured like everyone does. But without seeing it coming at all, and without trying, love consumed me. So, it can happen. Maybe it happens when you least expect it, when you’re not overthinking or planning everything or working on it too hard. That’s always a possibility. That’s my hope for you, in any case.

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