it’s about responsibility

You don’t have the right to have children, just because you want them. There should be some awareness that your choices have long reaching consequences. When you have a progressive, debilitating disease that will eventually take away your mobility and independence, who do you think will take care of your children, when you are no longer able to? If you have no family or support system, then what plan do you have in place to provide for them?

Disease and accidents happen. By the Grace of God, we have a supportive family and steadfast friends who can step into fill the voids that are left when tragedy occurs as part of living in a world where health and longevity are not promised to us. Our community has created a social system which can step in if there is no one who can assist you during times of your greatest need, but this should be thought of as a last resort for any given situation and not ‘the plan’ you have from the beginning.

The Foster Care system is full of kids who are there because their parent’s failed to plan or made selfish choices. It’s not perfect, but it’s there. If you don’t like the idea of your kids ending up in the system, well, that’s simply too bad, both for you and for them. They may be split up between several families, they will have to undergo the trauma of not knowing what will happen to them. They may have to move schools and lose their friends and all of this was created because you treated the privilege of having children as a “right.”

Having children is a choice. If you can not take care of them and provide for them financially, emotionally and physically, then why do you think you should have them in the first place? The truth of the matter is you shouldn’t have. But now that you have brought dependants into the world you can not care for, you have in ‘de facto” placed them under the care of society at large. What the community decides to do with your children, you really have no say in; no right to make a plea to change the plan you used when you decided to have them, knowing your situation was untenable for you to raise them into adulthood, yourself.

Your choices have been self serving and poorly made and your history proves you are not the adult who should be making the decisions about minor children. You sponsored their jobless father into the country while on permanent disability benefits yourself. You proceeded to immediately have 2 children in 14 months with a man with no income, no family support, who was diagnosed with paranoia and personality disorders. You did not experience any ‘unpredictable circumstances’ at all. You made horrible life choices on purpose, that would result in your children suffering as a direct result. That’s on you to come to terms with and for your children to forgive, once they are adults.

You did not take in a homeless kitten to comfort you because you were lonely. You made people and ultimately, you had the responsibility for them and you knew with your disabilities and lack of support, you had neither the time, resources or ability to take care of them, for the long term; you had children in hopes of healing the wounds you carried in your own life. Those kids had jobs before they were even born. You should have tried to fix yourself before making a choice to bring another person into the world.

You don’t seem to have a relationship with the church, because none of the members have come forward to assist you, but maybe you have Faith. Perhaps you should consider praying to God that he place your children into families who are capable of caring for them, who can support them in all ways as they mature and help them understand that being a responsible adult, sometimes means making hard choices about your life and situation. We don’t always get to have what we want, simply because we want it. There is value in knowing that if you can’t even take care of yourself, that you really shouldn’t consider adding pets into your life, let alone children. You failed in your initial responsibility and so society will do the best they can, with the mess you created.

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4 Responses to it’s about responsibility

  1. dragonfly918 says:

    Amen. Can I get a witness!

  2. Sassy Sarah says:

    I take it this is personal and close to home. Well said My Lady:-) We have enough messed up people in this world that feel unlovable. Its not fair for the kids to have such burdens bastowed a pond them. This I know personally.

  3. ContactRida says:

    i hope this testament includes the justin biebers and lindsey lohans of the world. there are plenty of poor people who can provide well for their children. depriving children of affection, attention, emotional nurturing is just as serious of a crime. why have children if your flipping nanny is going to raise them? riddle me that question.

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