pitch and miss

I know I haven’t called my mother

The last time I spoke to her she said

 “I’ll talk to you when I have time”

She hasn’t spoken to me since

She has imagined being offended

Because I haven’t contacted her

She tells her woeful tale

Of being used and forgotten

By a daughter who is selfish

Forgetting the three times I tried

When I called her and was brushed off

Because she was in the midst of defending

Her wanted child from looking badly

Clearly, I am not the wanted child

I have had to work hard my entire life

To forgive, adapt and accept my past

And undo all the damage she created

I am not angry, upset or thinking about it

Three strike rule, Mom

You’re out

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7 Responses to pitch and miss

  1. Ray says:

    That must be difficult. A daily challenge for you. I’m sorry. No child should have to experience that. I hope your mother fixes herself so she can repair the damage she’s created.

    • dragonfly918 says:

      Unfortunately it can’t be fixed if she doesn’t think she has a problem. Best thing is to cut off the toxic shit.

      • Ray says:

        Sometimes that is the only option. I learned (the hard way) that I couldn’t fix my Ex.

      • rougedmount says:

        i have reached a place in my life where it’s okay…she is how she is (and will not change either) and I am no longer in a place where what she does can impact me like it used to. i regret that things could not have been different, but i am no longer saddened by it. her choices and her behavior are not compatible with mine. while it is unfortunate it certainly no longer has the ability to destroy me emotionally. there is a wonderful peace that comes from accepting what is. others may not see it that way and that still can trigger me into a reaction, but i certainly am far ahead of where i was.

      • Ray says:

        That is fantastic (on your part) how you have accepted and moved on from a toxic (and I LOVE that word) relationship. I think the most important phrase that helped me was “Learn to accept the apology you’ll never get.” Very powerful phrase.

  2. Wow. I should follow that rule too.

  3. dragonfly918 says:

    Let’s hope your mother’s favorite ends up taking care of her when she’s incapacitated! I personally have a better relationship with my landlady than my own mother, who I’d not speak to if given the choice, mostly because I have nothing to say. But I am cursed with having to take care of her because she has Parkinson’s.

    I personally would rather be ignored than be told, after years of criticism and never being good enough, how much she loves me and missed me when I am not there–solely because she doesn’t like her caregiver, and she fears she will die if I don’t take care of her.

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