soft cocks

I know it’s not my fault

In my head I know

Yet I still feel rejected

Like I am not pretty enough

Or sexy enough to inspire

That I can’t turn a man on

Because he doesn’t want me

It means no man ever will

His soft cock screams at me

Sexually past your prime

Too soft Too old Too Late

Unwanted Unloved Unfucked

I know it’s not my fault

In my head I know

It’s too bad I don’t believe it

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39 Responses to soft cocks

  1. Depending on the man’s age, I don’t think you can take it THAT personally. When you’re over 40, it’s not like when you were 17 any longer. They are much more fickle and discerning and uncooperative at times. And the mental pressure we feel inside makes it worse!! It COULD mean that he’s not attracted to you, or maybe not! I can be turned on and not get one instantly…I’m just sayin’….they aren’t the barometer they were when we were young anymore

    • rougedmount says:

      a mans soft cock impacts his partner as much as it does himself…and its easy to ‘know it’ but another thing entirely to believe it..

      • And I get it, and why you feel it, but our “members” are more complex. They are not a barometer of our feelings. Even mostly so. It all “depends” — on our age, what mood are we in, whether we are tired, and yeah, to SOME degree, how we feel about you. Its not as simple as “He is soft, therefore he is not attracted to me.”

        aren’t you more wet sometimes than others?

  2. substephn says:

    It’s definitely not your fault.

  3. A soft cock prose? Well done. -A

  4. mel says:

    It’s terrible. Login and reason don’t have a chance against that sense of rejection… “Unwanted Unloved Unfucked” and so, so Unfair.

  5. jayne says:

    damn…ouch – the mind turns upon itself to be hatefully right. I can’t wait for the post that demolishes this line of thought. I will be almost as excited as you will be. ; )

  6. Pua Nani says:

    I have one lover who sometimes has a hard time in staying hard. He is 40 and he is a drinker and maybe that has affected his hormonal system.
    A couple times when he lost his erection he tried to blame me for it, saying I said something that “wasn’t sexy” or that I needed to be “sexier” for him. Meanwhile I am still dating and I have another lover who is so hard for me that sometimes after a long session he stays hard even after he cums and fucks me again. Other guys have tended to stay hard all night for me. Because of that I know that it is not that I am not sexy, but that this guy with the soft cock has a biological problem. However, his blaming remarks still made me feel a little bad. I don’t get together with him very often, but recently I got together with him again. The last time we hung out before this, he came to my house and we chatted for a few hours and then he left without trying to make a move on me. I thought that was strange and worried that he wasn’t attracted enough to me. But this most recent time he started telling me that I looked so good and that he wanted to go home with me and have sex with me. He mentioned how the last time we had sex he couldn’t get it up, without trying to blame me or anything, so I knew he was aware that it was his problem. Then I whispered in his ear and said this whole thing about how great he is at licking pussy and how I wrote a poem about it and yada yada yada. He got all excited and we went back to my house. He performed great that time. Afterwards he told me he loved me for the first time. Reflecting on the whole thing later, I realized how fragile the male ego is. If they can’t stay hard it is an ego crisis and they want to blame their partner for it. At the same time, it seems for guys like this that a big part of staying hard has to do with ego validation. They know that the woman they are with is aware of their past failures and perhaps that makes them feel even more unsure of themselves around her. I think that’s why this guy came over to my house but then couldn’t bring himself to attempt sex with me; he was so afraid of failing again that he was actually avoiding sex. When I heavily validated him it gave him more confidence and now that he did well he feels real good and associates that with me.
    What I am trying to say is that maybe your husband has projected blame on you for his inadequacies which are partly biological but are compounded by his fragile ego. He blames you for his soft cock and he blames you for knowing what a failure he is in bed. But those things are not your fault. The cuckolding thing may make things easier because it takes the heat off of him to perform for you. Or perhaps there is a way to use elaborate compliments and validation to rebuild his confidence in his ability to please you. Men can be trained like dogs, you know, but they resent any punishment or negativity and respond best to compliments.
    I hope you can come to a place where you understand that his failure to perform is not a measure of your own attractiveness.

    • rougedmount says:

      grin – thank you so much for this comment – it made me very much smile…
      my spouse is unfortunately beyond ‘working with’ to improve anything..perhaps one day something will work on its own

  7. marcus says:

    First off, great post. Love your writing. Love your honesty and your blog.

    Now for this post…
    fuck that shit…every man gets turned on my his lady or any lady that is turned on by him. If you’re in bed together then there’s something there. If its soft there are many reasons for it. Not wanting you isnt one of them especially when you are there in bed wanting to get nasty.
    I’m 55. It happens to me. Why, who the fuck knows. Maybe too much thinking.
    Whatever.
    I just go down on my lady and it comes back fast.
    Worst thing that can happen is being laughed at.

    This is for the Men. If it happens to you. DONT GIVE UP. Don’t have that I can’t attitude.
    You’re a can do dude.
    Make her feel you want her, need her. It will come back and better.

    Cheers

  8. silkred says:

    reading this I have to say when I have been soft if I felt disapproved of or inadequate the chances of anything happening would diminish quickly – the sense that I inspiring upset would seal that deal – however if its accepted as natural and there is acceptance and patience and rest and maybe some play then…

    • rougedmount says:

      well i have to say you are completely right…at this point i am very critical of his inability to get hard especially since he refuses to get help for it

      • silkred says:

        A very delicate situation… no easy solution other than some selfless nurturing compassion I wish you both well

      • silkred says:

        change the subject – get all foot fetish on him – move your focus and reduce expectations… be fluid and sensual – let go of any sense that you need almost anything… this will be all the help he needs…

      • rougedmount says:

        splendid suggestion…i actually tried it a while ago and all it did was get me noticed more while on public transportation…and interestingly enough it DID get me two offers of a “mutually beneficial situation” ..i politely declined

      • silkred says:

        reading a little more of your other replies – I think maybe you need to be thinking of your own self… I sympathise as its not easy to find alternatives… but with patience there are there… in bocca di lupo..

  9. I’m late to the party, and you know I enjoy your blog, but I’ve cared for a few people like this. I wouldn’t let him off the hook until after he’s been medically evaluated. There are a few medical conditions that present with this same combination of physical and mental apathy. At the very least, as substephn says, Viagra would be a nice way to screen the physical and mental.

    Get him checked. It could be something as simple as low testosterone (I actually discussed this on my blog), something potentially embarrassing (that he doesn’t want to share) like herpes or something much more serious. There’s no way it’s you!

    • rougedmount says:

      i appreciate your input. for 15 years he used sex as a form of control and withheld it as a passive aggressive way to manipulate a situation. for 5 years he had medical issues that he refused to have addressed and which i diagnosed. i tricked him into being seen by making a family appointment where he had to take the kids as i said i was unavailable. i had secretly spoken to the Doctor about the tests i wanted done and what my concerns were and when the kids appointments were done, i showed up at the office to tell the Doctor in person, in front of my spouse. He was furious, but the tests were done and he got the appropriate medication. In the last 3 years his medical and medication combination have now made sex, even if he wanted it, almost impossible 95% of the time. Because of his psychological issues surrounding intimacy, I believe he very much enjoys the fact that an erection no longer betrays interest. he absolutely refuses to discuss anything of a sexual nature. i have proclaimed him to be ‘sexually anorexic’ and after 15 years of being supportive and of trying to work through his issues, i am no longer able to. But his sexual rejection certainly impacts my own ability to be objective about it.

      • Got it. I still suggest that you shouldn’t internalize this as if you’re the issue. His behavior could be projecting his own insecurities about his situation. I’m very interested in how you’re resolve this situation to your benefit. You have one lifetime, and you seem to be especially vibrant. The clock’s ticking.

      • rougedmount says:

        how i resolve it to my benefit? i am currently on the market for a lover who shall reap the very large reward of being with a woman who has a very assertive sex drive with intent to use his body to slake herself upon with the single minded focus of wringing every ounce of testosterone from his body with a biological drive that would embarrass the pornography industry.

      • LMAO. I love it! Please understand that I have to use a certain level of decorum in my comments, but I’m certainly rooting for you!

  10. frankly1900 says:

    I definitely don’t think you should crush up a Viagra and slip it into an evening meal just to see what happens next. Especially because he said he wasn’t going to do anything medically to help the situation. . .

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