It makes me sad sometimes that he won’t accept or acknowledge his sexual issues and as a result has put so much distance between us. He could have had a wife who was sexually provocative, vibrant and available to any single thing that he could have ever envisioned or imagined. The only time this marriage has ever worked was when I had a lover take care of my needs 2-4 times a week.
The silence and awkward, thick weight between us after a failed attempt at coitus would almost be comical, if it wasn’t so pathetic. He refuses to look at me or speak to me or acknowledge me in any way. I know from past experience, that if I try and force him to say something, anything, he will deflect any comment I make and blow up over something like how the bag of milk was cut wrong or how he can’t find his sock…how he can never find his sock and how I probably moved his sock just to create trouble before storming off to bed.
If I was sexually satisfied, I would not have tried to get him to respond to me. My pushing him for sex is what makes him upset. He just doesn’t want sex, no matter what he says, his body, his attitude his behaviour says differently. The fact that I am disgusted with him, makes him angry with me. This never would have happened if I just left him alone. Now he is all offended and acting like I did something wrong. Simply because I wanted sex.