coitus collapse

It makes me sad sometimes that he won’t accept or acknowledge his sexual issues and as a result has put so much distance between us. He could have had a wife who was sexually provocative, vibrant and available to any single thing that he could have ever envisioned or imagined. The only time this marriage has ever worked was when I had a lover take care of my needs 2-4 times a week.

The silence and awkward, thick weight between us after a failed attempt at coitus would almost be comical, if it wasn’t so pathetic. He refuses to look at me or speak to me or acknowledge me in any way. I know from past experience, that if I try and force him to say something, anything, he will deflect any comment I make and blow up over something like how the bag of milk was cut wrong or how he can’t find his sock…how he can never find his sock and how I probably moved his sock just to create trouble before storming off to bed.

If I was sexually satisfied, I would not have tried to get him to respond to me. My pushing him for sex is what makes him upset. He just doesn’t want sex, no matter what he says, his body, his attitude his behaviour says differently. The fact that I am disgusted with him, makes him angry with me. This never would have happened if I just left him alone. Now he is all offended and acting like I did something wrong. Simply because I wanted sex.

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11 Responses to coitus collapse

  1. mel says:

    ugh. As if the failed sex attempt is a blow in of itself. Then he’s a dick about it. I’m sorry for you sweet lady. You deserve better.

  2. jayne says:

    All I can think is How in the heck was he raised? He makes the point for how important good parenting is. At least you know there’s an end and you’re not stuck there forever. xo, Jayne

  3. Extreme left brain at all? On the autistic spectrum? I do not mean to be rude with my questions, it just seems to make ‘sense’ in relation to what I read here… not easy for a hot blooded human. I have no real idea, imagination only informs these comments. My empathy however is with you… cannot imagine this.

  4. My husband is very similar in that he does not like talking about sex. Period. I feel that talking about it is part of the intimacy — if you can’t get me off, don’t you want to know how you can!?

  5. Nichole says:

    Just a thought but is it possible he is stressed out about things and maybe a bit sexually frustrated? I know that sounds weird but, there was a time when I was in this situation and I lost it when he wouldn’t talk to me. He was angry and very cold and distant. I’d had enough and after I verbalized everything that needed to be said on my part (in a very non-threatening, reassuring and loving way) things got better and the tension faded. After a few days passed and things started to be a bit better I didn’t ask if he wanted anything….I didn’t give him the chance to say no. Maybe he wants it but he might feel inadequate and thinks its better to just push it aside and make you feel like crap. I have a husband with ptsd and when he feels bad or in one of those moods he pushes me away, etc. Misery loves company. Doesn’t mean they don’t love us.

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