becoming a cuckold

I think my husband is aroused by the fact I there is a very high chance that might be sleeping with other men. To be clear, I am not. I ended a 1.5 year relationship 9 months ago. During that whole time, my spouse touched me 6 times for sexual purposes, twice of which he spent enough time to make me orgasm and lasted longer than 3-4 minutes.

Now, forget that I had repeatedly ‘told’ him I had a lover; circumstances have been that over the last few weeks I have been going out a lot. And by a lot I mean at least 4-5 times during the week and it seems at least 2-3 evenings as well. I happen to be meeting up with friends who have been traveling and passing through town, meeting old work friends for dinners and going out with the girls to a house warming party or a baby shower.

But it means I am not getting home until 2-3AM or I am spending the night out entirely as if I have had a few cocktails, then a few of us just end up sleeping over. And by sleeping over, I mean staying up all night talking about men, kids, relationships, sex and having a giggle festival where your face and stomach end up hurting the next day from laughing so much.

If I come home sweaty from dancing or grubby from hanging around smokers, then I shower before coming into bed. Or I might not see him until the next evening at dinner time, and his reaction to me is the same. More sexual interest than he has shown in a very long time. And by very long time I mean perhaps 14 years ago for a brief period of about 2-3 months.

He is asking things like “Did you have fun”, but said in a suggestive way. Or asking me if I need any muscle aches rubbed out “from too much activity”, as his hands start to massage by lower back, hips and ass which is his tell tale indicator of potential arousal. He doesn’t ask where I was or who I was with or what I was doing. He just makes these odd little comments that if anything, makes it seem like he is kind of interested, but not in specific details.
The man has had erections. Most people take a man’s erection for granted because they come easily and often for most men. But there are those out there, including my spouse who has been both mentally and physically castrated for so many years, that I was at first unbelieving of it. Then I was suspicious of his hard on, as he means he has obviously been secretly taking Viagra.

None of his erections actually led to sex as I am enforcing the new rule of no sexual intercourse for him, unless he uses toys on me to make me cum before he can gain entry inside of my vagina. I have completely removed ANY chance of giving him oral sex until he changes long enough for me to see a major shift in his sexual thinking, so I highly doubt I will ever suck him off again. He is a selfish person in bed, combined with the fact his premature ejaculation issues are compounded by lack of sexual relief as he does without for weeks and sometimes months, on end. And if the toy rule was not in effect, he would cum and go within 2-3 minutes, so it’s not like I would ever even stand a chance at arousal let alone orgasm.

So unless he has secretly decided to chew on Viagra instead of tic tac’s, I think he likes the idea of my going out and cat’ing around and coming home tired and sore from too much sex and it makes him want to jump me because of his newly acquired stiff dick. Of course when I said this to him, tried to talk about it? he immediately denied it and said he is always interested in sex/me and we/he have no sexual problems between us (this is how you spell denial).

I am not sure what to do with this new ‘almost’ information, I have been made aware of, yet. Maybe test it a bit more? See what the reaction is I get? Do I tease him a bit about it? Taunt him? Do I imply I am being serviced by a stable of big cocked stallions? I am NOT letting him use me to cum in, unless he plays with me first…and so its only lead to sex once so far. This whole thing? It just puts me in a strange state of mind to be honest.

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33 Responses to becoming a cuckold

  1. Michael says:

    I have been following you for a while and know you have a challenging situation with your husband, to say the least. It looks like there may be some potential with the cuckolding scenario for you, your husband, and ultimately you two as a couple. It seems that “ideal” way for this to work is when it comes from the man as a fantasy expressed to his lover and the couple goes into it together with a strong relationship. However, it may be that he is embarrassed about this fantasy (if he even has it). As you have seen in many blogs, there is group of folks that really find this fantasy hot and love exploring and playing with it. However, there are also a lot of people that aren’t quite there…not comfortable and haven’t developed a mental and emotional mastery around the fantasy to make it safe to talk about…much less act on. The same could be said for a separate but sometimes related fantasy–small cock teasing. All that said, if he is having thoughts, you helping him along this path could rekindle and ignite the passion in your relationship. Maybe you could read a few erotic stories around this theme and hint that it makes you excited…test his reaction. The magazine, Penthouse Letters, has some well-written erotic stories with a variety of fantasies. You could earmark a few stories you liked–one or two with wife watching or cuckolding as the subject and a couple unrelated fantasies. If it doesn’t work at least you tried yet again! Good luck with this…I’m pulling for you! 🙂

    • mel says:

      I second Michael’s suggestions. Assuming the reason you are still with your husband is because you still care about your marriage, trying to patiently help him come out with his fantasy might improve thinks for both of you… I am holding onto hope for you. I wouldn’t blame you for just finding some stallion to fuck, either.

      • rougedmount says:

        i am staying in the marriage because of a child with issues who needs me in the same home. the marriage is very hard for even me to define. my spouse is passive aggressive and has cyclical behaviour of doing just enough to draw me back in, when he sees i have reached a breaking point and may start to initiate change. He always goes back to his real way of behaving once i am drawn back in. At this point I am not sure he deserves any more chances or if I am mentally able to give them to him.

      • mel says:

        I understand. I certainly don’t bear any judgement. Marriage is one of the hardest things I have ever had to stick with, and reading about your struggles, I’m not sure how you do. You are a strong woman. Whatever the outcome, I do hope you are able to find some peace, relief, and joy in whatever you decide.

      • rougedmount says:

        i want to be able to say i am open to any possibility..but i find that i am guarded..not just towards my spouse but towards men in general and that has never happened to me before. as much as i am sexually frustrated, i am glad that i have not been hit by a bolt of sexual awakening that makes it impossible to listen to my voice of reason. i did that once and doubt it will occur again.

      • mel says:

        I’m struggling with that sexual awakening. Reason is tough to find when your body is in constant frustration mode…

      • rougedmount says:

        sometime that awareness, that blaze of light and knowledge, is worth every moment of pain you know it will eventually bring.

    • rougedmount says:

      thank you so much for that….this comment about him not having developed a mental and emotional mastery around the fantasy to make it safe to talk about…much less act on.” MIGHT be where he is at. I have tried a variety of ways to approach this with him in the past, though nothing during the last 4.5 yrs. To be honest, I am a bit torn about trying to make things work with him. In the past, it has always bit me on the ass as he always just seems to invest just enough to prevent me from leaving, before going right back to the bad behaviors of his past. His reactions mean he might be exactly where you said he was. I haven’t decided if I should try or not. I have been ‘done’ so long now…yet the strings still tie me to him.

  2. phoenixasubbie says:

    I’d test it more. Maybe it’s a door to a new world. What do you really have to lose at this point? Plus, it’d be interesting reading… 🙂

  3. Well, how do you feel about it if that were the case? Does cuckolding appeal to you? This could be an added spark. I say play around with it, test it out and see. Fuck it, why not? xxx

    • kdaddy23 says:

      As always, you are to be commended for not doing something that any other woman I know would have done, namely, taken as many lovers as you can deal with. But, if you could do that and still keep whatever security your marriage affords you, then as Scarlett said, why the fuck not?

      Even when married, this saying holds true: If you don’t take care of your woman, someone else can and will; if your husband doesn’t know this (and he should) then it’s high time he found out the hard way and like so many men (and women) winds up having to do.

      If you can, go get you some, woman…

      • rougedmount says:

        well Daddy, i didn’t just live the whole “for better and worse” I believed it. I just think that once I realized that what i had was nothing close to what it should have been, it allowed me the freedom to get the male support (and resulting sex) that I needed.
        And you are right, if he finds out the hard way that another man can do what he should have done all along, 100% better than he ever could, the worst thing that can happen is already something I am prepared for

    • rougedmount says:

      over the last few years i have very much changed into a much more sexually open person. does cuckolding appeal to me? hmmmmm…that would have to be a definite yes, considering that it would allow me to have the sexual satisfaction i have missed for so many years. Part of me would love the punishment aspect of it, since he withheld from me for so many years, this would very much be payback. part of my juvenile mind thinks this would simply be ‘fair’

  4. Michelle says:

    Hmmmmm. Interesting idea. Maybe I should go out and cause my husband to wonder what I’m doing. Like your rules. Think I will implement them myself.
    Good luck. I know it’s not easy.

    • rougedmount says:

      to you as well..and i highly recommend that if you do maintain a sexual relationship with your spouse that it is entirely contingent on YOU being sexually satisfied before you give ANYTHING reciprocal to him. If he won’t listen, refuses to change…then you have to and make it harder for him.

  5. Marian Green says:

    It does sound like he wants you to be running around. You could test it out by holding his cock while you tell him of your evening… And tell the real version. If he softens while you tell of drinks with the girls you could switch it up. Lead with, “of course you may have been thinking I was …. ” and paint a sexy word picture of you getting fucked by another man. If he gets hard during the telling you’ll know it turns him on. 🙂

  6. play613796 says:

    Indeed, “take one for the team” and let us know how it goes! 🙂

  7. larryarcher says:

    I agree with a majority of the comments posted but can’t resist throwing my nickel in. While I don’t know your husband and am not a psychologist, other than to a few of my bloggers LOL, men have sometimes strange emotional makeups (I’m a guy and I know). When hubby knows (thinks) you are being taken care of away from home, he may not know how to acknowledge or fully accept the fact. A guy has a problem admitting to the world that he can’t take care of his homework and that his wife has to go elsewhere for satisfaction. We guys have fragile egos and could never go to work and say, “Guys I can’t take care of my wife so she has other guys fuck her!” From another perspective, maybe he knows he can’t satisfy you and fucks you vicariously with the dicks of the other guys. We know a couple that the husband loves to watch his wife get nailed and never does anything but jack off while watching. We’ve known them for a long time and they are a committed loving couple and I don’t think there is anything going on except that his wife is highly sexed and he loves watching her getting serviced. The only problem is that he tends to shake the camera when he’s jacking off!

  8. pmmare72 says:

    In my honest opinion, if you love your husband, try approaching him while in bed about the topic, let it become kinky talk, see how aroused he becomes and take it from there. Let it become something to add to your relationship instead of making it seem as if there is a problem, reassure him.You obviously know what he is excited from, now show him you find as much excitement in it as he does.

    • rougedmount says:

      …we have verbally shared a bed with another man for many years…the issue is his exceptionally low sex drive which makes sexual intimacy exceptionally rare. he thinks he has no issue…which means he has struggled with seeing a need to fix it. we have extremely mis-matched sex drives. plus we have a lot of other issues, most of which revolve around lack of communication as he is unwilling to speak about sexual matters.

      • myarousal says:

        This sounds very familiar……Denial…..lack of genuine & honest discussion of sexual issues and intimacy….anger….bitterness….sadness….*sigh*

      • rougedmount says:

        …regret…acceptance…and the openness to find those things denied to you by engaging with another person, not your spouse. if you are pushed away long enough, eventually you move on.

  9. myarousal says:

    Like you I have cheated. I have had numerous lovers. I will not compromise and have shallow, meaningless sex without passion. I will not beg for sex from the person who is supposed to love me. If all else fails I will stroke my cock and fele good about it. I will be with someone who I feel one with……if not her….someone.

  10. Dan says:

    How or why did it start? My first real girlfriend in High School had a reputation before I started dating her. I probably asked her out just to lose my virginity because I thought she would be easy. Our first date was simple, a movie and something cheap to eat afterwards then I drove her to the park where I expected to get me some. We kissed and when I tried to put my hand up under her top she pushed it away. I was used to that but not expecting it with her. I took no for an answer and then took her home.
    A few more frustrating dates. My friends where asking and I held them off saying as little as I could. I mostly told them the stories about her where not true. I had no idea my friends where laughing at me because the stories about her where true and most of them knew from experience.
    I thought we where being exclusive. I even gave her my ring and then I found out the truth. She had been screwing other guys the entire time we had been dating. I heard that from an older classmate who really enjoyed telling me all about it in front of several other guys.
    I did not believe him but since he was way too big to punch I just walked away humiliated. I walked to my girl friends house solely to tell her the lies he was spreading about her. We where on her front porch, her parents where both gone. I spit out what I thought where the lies about her and waited for her to say something.
    Instead she didn’t say a word, she just took my hand and led me to her bedroom where she took off all her clothes and laid on her back. I got on top and very clumsily inserted myself into her vagina. She had her head turned to the side. I was so into it I didn’t notice she was crying, laying there motionless. I asked her what was wrong and she said “you are just like all the other guys so go ahead and finish and leave”
    It suddenly hit me. I knew all the stories where true but I also knew I was something special to her and I had just lost that. I also realized I had lost my erection before I finished. I got off and looked down at her and said I was sorry. I must have told her I never finished hoping that would make it right. She looked down at it all limp and everything. Then she looked at me in the eyes and said something I would never forget. “I have never seen one like that before, it’s so small!”
    At the time I did not realize she had never seen one limp before so I assumed it was because I was smaller than all the rest of the guys. I was devastated. Sexually castrated on the day I lost my cherry.
    Does it still count if you don’t cum? Does just sticking it in and throwing a few pumps still count? I dressed and got out of there. I called her a few times but she never would talk to me again. A few weeks later her family moved out of state. Two years after that I ran into her and she had a young baby with her. She had become pregnant when I was dating her but she was already pregnant when I had stuck mine in. Does this count as being a cuck if we where not married but only dating?
    Maybe not but it surely has set me up for a lifetime of being cheated on and not being man enough to stop the women I date or marry from screwing around. This brings me to my second real relationship. The woman I would eventually marry.
    She was supposed to be a good girl? No reputation, no questionable ex boyfriends and even though she had a body that would look good in anything she chose to dress rather conservatively. Our first date was just dinner and a quick kiss. Our second date a movie and dinner, then a concert and a much longer kiss then a party where she got a bit drunk and a bit crazy and we ended up in a bedroom on the floor where another couple was screwing in the bed. In my hurry to insert I overlooked the fact that I had no condom on. A few seconds later I could feel that it would be over soon, I tried thinking of anything but it was about to let loose so I pulled out and shot all over her!
    It must have taken me all of 30 seconds to go from start line to blowing my juice before her finish line. She just laid there. I had suspected she was not a virgin but later I was to find out how much not a virgin she was. For now I was just an embarrassed teenager.
    I found a condom kept me from letting loose so quickly and thought I was doing well until one night we where at a party and I drank too much. I didn’t really pass out but laid down for a little while. I got up and went searching for her. No where to be found. The few couples that where there where making out or screwing. I assumed she had caught a ride with someone else.
    I was about to leave when I passed a open door and heard her. She had a distinctive speech. I looked inside and there she was, stark naked on top of a guy just riding him like hell. The room was mostly dark and two other couples where going at it so no one paid any attention to me. It went on and on and I knew how horrible I must be in bed. She was grinding pumping and going at him for so long when she finally came. She did not scream but came really close and slumped down on him and actually said thank you that was fucking fantastic! I just stood there! Eventually she rolled off him and reached over to grab her drink. The room was dark but light enough to see he did not have a condom on and of course that thing he had just stuffed in her was far better than mine.
    I was staring at it when she noticed me. I can not explain the expression on her face. Was it an expression of shock or relief that she no longer had to hide the fact she was getting it from other men, men that could perform in a way I could not.
    I walked out and drove away. I dreamed that night of standing naked in a room full of people while she taunted me, telling me how pitiful a lover I was then just as she jumped on a guy’s dick I came.
    That is when I woke and realized I had a wet dream! The thoughts of her with other men would not leave my head. For days it was all I could think about. I began to masturbate thinking of her screwing men, I was too ashamed and confused to talk to anyone about it.
    Then I met a guy who admitted he also had a cheating wife. He knew about her and her affairs but she had no idea he knew. Like me he had been totally faithful to her and like me it turned him on knowing some other guy was screwing his wife. We began talking about how to confront them and admit to them how we felt. We had no idea how they would react, we did not want them to stop, we wanted them to keep screwing other men and we wanted to watch.
    As time went on it got to the point where I would have to imagine a man had just finished with her just to get aroused. I finally got up the courage to tell her so one day I came home early but she was not there. She works four ten hour days and this was her day off. Her computer was on the desk and I opened it, the emails where open.
    She had made plans with some guy and they where to meet today. I read further and found out they had never met. She told him all about just breaking up with her boyfriend but never mentioned she was married. Seems they had been emailing for a few weeks. I drove to the place where they where to meet and found them, talking and laughing. Her acting so single and him looking like he knew he was going to get lucky.
    They walked to their cars but got in his. I followed to a house and watched as my wife went in with him. I waited intending to bang on the door but as I reached it I decided to try the knob, it was open. I walked inside and found them on the couch. They had not even got to the bedroom. She was on him working him. Her ass was towards me and his dick was inside her. I pulled out my erection and masturbated. In a few seconds I was spewing all over this guys floor.
    I have no idea how long afterwards I stood there until she turned and saw me. My dick still in my hand, cum all over the floor and tears running down my face. She dressed and got in my car and all I could think of was to ask if he came in her. Matter of fact she just said yes he did.
    Now this is my life.

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