I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you don’t look ’10 years younger’ and you actually ‘DO’ look your age. That photo you have with buff arms, chest and flat tummy? It was taken 6 years go and while I am sure you liked how you looked then, it’s not who you are now. Your lying about it makes you look vain and inauthentic. That’s another word for ‘liar’ since you didn’t exactly come off as educated as you portrayed yourself.
That whole serious and brooding look you had in the pictures? It hides the fact you have horrible teeth. You have seen my pictures. You can clearly tell they were recent and that personal hygiene is important to me. If I make sure my horse and dogs have nice teeth (and nails) don’t you think it would matter to me that on a man I planned on kissing or touching me, that he had nice ones as well? Shiver…your zombie teeth and chewed up nails are going nowhere near me.
You have tried the classic ‘bait and switch’, presenting yourself one way while actually looking the complete opposite. Surprise! I noticed. Everybody will notice in the future. Just in case you had any doubt as to my interest level, even though I articulated it to you? There is none. There will be no repeat. I was polite and nothing more. I am so far out of your league we may not even be playing the same sport.
(iamexageratingfordramaticeffect; no dates were actually harmed, either verbally or mentally in the making of this post, if any dates had been harmed then appropriate compensation and therapy would have been forthcoming from an appropriate source. in the event any dates happen to occur as a result of this post, it is the express written opinion of the author that due diligence be taken before said event takes place or waivers be signed indicating that all expectation be negotiated upon verification that the said party has taken any and all precautions against the possibility that they are not whom they present themselves to be or that the reasonable facsimile be thought of as an approximate detail, until such time as visual verification can occur.)