any given Sunday

I have stopped and started 100 different ideas, unable to finish any as my mind is fragmented and unable to organize. I feel disjointed and sad. Unbearably morose with no single event to trigger it, just a deep sorrow that makes the subtle veil of depression seems like a well worn and favoured shirt. I know it is simply the weight of my clenching uterus that is pulling me down into an exhausted and anemic lethargy and so it should pass by with time and sleep .

Laughter does not reach my eyes and I wonder at my ability to be present inside of my own heart anymore. Simple pleasures while acknowledged are not felt and I feel like I have disassociated myself from the things that made me happy. It was a casualty to the protective barrier I surrounded myself with against being hurt. Emotionally drained and physically exhausted, I am devoting the remainder of my day to the simple joy of napping on the sofa while enjoying the clash of my favourite teams on TV with a well loved heating pad

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5 Responses to any given Sunday

  1. mala says:

    I hope you feel better soon… heating pads can do wonders…:)

  2. njuri says:

    Exercise makes me feel wonderful, it doesn’t seem to matter what’s going on when I’m exercising it goes away. Have you tried some vigorous exercise or perhaps a little Yoga? Even if you have a gym in your home, sometimes it’s good to be out with others. I too hope things get better sooner than later.
    …and I know how you feel about starting many things. I decided to undo my whole blog until I knew what I wanted to write about.

    • rougedmount says:

      i thought i accidentally deleted my blog once..i almost barfed with the immediate dread that washed over me

      • njuri says:

        Well I write about some stuff that needs to be deleted at some point. I still have the memory. Sometimes if you don’t know where you are going it’s a good thing to start fresh…

  3. kdaddy23 says:

    If I could get paid for all the blogs I’ve started and then tossed in the trash, I could afford that trip to Australia I’ve been dreaming of! Sometimes, you just get the blahs, get a horrible case of writer’s block, stuff like that. You just bounce back when you can and it’ll all be good again!

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