the bigger man

Men are bigger and physically stronger than women. This single difference is apparent as soon as puberty hits and sexual interest and preferences start to really develop. It is something that heterosexual people notice. Biologically speaking a larger male would be better able to protect you and any children you might have together. Studies have been done that prove where a woman is in her fertility cycle, depends on the type of male she finds attractive. The closer she is to the time she can conceive, the more her body naturally selects a big, strong, masculine and muscular male.

Biology is a funny thing, isn’t it? A woman’s body changes and hormones alter to the point it changes how you perceive the potential ability to decide who you have sex with. It also changes how a woman smells. Her pheromones are altered and this means she sends out unconscious signals to men about her ability to conceive his child. This means that when a woman is ovulating, men find her much more attractive than if she wasn’t. His perception changes because his body recognizes the fact she can get pregnant and it wants that to happen. So his hormones alter how he perceives how she looks, making her more attractive to him.

Endless studies have been completed that prove both of those human realities. It serves to form the basis of the idea that some things are hardwired into our brains and when it comes to sex, desire and procreation we are manipulated on a large scale by biological urges we have no control over and could not change even if we wanted to. Whether we decide to act on these primitive urges is irrelevant. The point is, they are there. Our bodies respond and our brains light up like Christmas trees when we see someone who we are attracted to and our body recognized a potential mate.

The fact that we choose not to have sex, when our bodies are screaming for it, has largely developed because we had to develop rules when we started living in social groups. Our Neanderthal ancestors needed a way for us to cohabitate safely and to not have the males fighting each other over access to fertile females and to have the females have mates who would take care of them and their offspring, wile she was busy rearing them, and could not. This is how pair bonding developed and why there is a phenomenon called “the 7 year itch”.  Typically by this age, the child a pair bonding was created for will be past the point of danger for survival and there would be no further need for that couple to remain together.

The union would have served its biological purpose and it naturally disintegrates on a biological level. It’s why so many modern marriages fall apart at this point. It’s because the brains and bodies of both the man and woman are hardwired to end the union. Both people in the same place of not wanting to stay together at the same time, means a higher instance of divorce, as opposed to when at least one person in the marriage is willing to fight to keep the monogamous marriage intact. Again, it is a well studied and documented fact supported by statistical data that marriages fail around this time frame and there is a biological reason why it happens.

Monogamy was created in large part to ensure that males would be providing resources and expending energy as well as risking his life, to ensure that HIS biological children survived. If he felt threatened that the child was not his, he could simply move on and start over again in a matter of months with a new mate. Meanwhile, the female would be left in the life threatening position of raising her offspring with no protection or assistance from a male, plus she would be in the position of not having a mate to defend her from the attention of other males when she was fertile and sending out biological signals that she needed sex to get pregnant.

Add a few thousands of years of human development and nothing really changes until the very recent history where men live longer than 25 because they aren’t maiming each other when fighting for land, women and social standing. We have modern medicine and intervention, so women aren’t dying in childbirth and babies are able to thrive and survive childhood. Infections and disease no longer claim people at alarming rates and so what we are left with is a population explosion and a world now filled with a copious number of sexually viable adults who have very long reproductive lives.

The fact is as a species we are not as sexually promiscuous as our potential would allow us, simply because it has impacted by social conditioning by some degree. We have made rules around sex which include but are not limited to: how old we should be before we start having it, the fact it should take place between consenting adults; that in many cultures it is expected that people form not just pair bonds of commitment, but be legally bound to each other in marriage and that by definition that marriage should be monogamous. It is generally accepted that men have more partners than women.

Now you have a toxic brew of unused hormones that are being swirled around like a fine red wine in a deep glass, throbbing through our systems and there is no recourse to act upon them in the open and be authentic about your true sexual nature without suffering the stereotypes our society has formed about promiscuous behaviour and having multiple sexual partners. Unlike Dolphins and Bonobo primates, people do not have sex for recreation whenever and with whomever they feel like. Our societal rules frown upon it.

One of the things that fascinate me about this whole sexual selection process is that we develop sexual preferences on top of our biological ones, that impact who we want to have sex with. All animals have their own courtship rituals and the males normally develop secondary sexual characteristics that exaggerate and are passed to their offspring because they are successful at fathering more than another male who does not share those same preferred traits.

This exact same selection process occurs in humans as evidenced by the increase in height in the general population at a rate that can not solely be contributed to better nutrition or natural selection. An example may be that women prefer taller men to procreate with as they want those genes passed onto their own potential offspring. Another example is penis size. If you compare the male penis to that of other animals, the human penis is much larger than it has to be, in order to do the job of simple impregnation. The clear evidence of a preference in a taller height and a larger penis size, is simply evidenced by the result of men being taller and by in large, developing a larger endowment, because those are two secondary sexual characteristics that women are choosing in potential partners.

This is not just something that is localized to one geographic area of the world. Look at the statistical data available over the last 100 years and you can see the evidence of these two preferences yourself. Women worldwide have practiced the art of selective breeding through mate section to ensure that their offspring would have the greatest chance of being sexually more attractive to others and thus propagate their gene pool forward another generation. It doesn’t matter if that woman is in Indonesia, Sudan, Iqaluit, Peru or North America; her sexual preference is for tall men with a large penis. Individual preference aside, this is the rule and not the exception.

By comparison, most men will have sex with any woman who will let him. He may not have a repeat performance with her if she was not to his initial sexual appeal, but it will not stop him from at least having sex the first time with her. This is a generalization based on the nature of most men and of course there are some exceptions to the rule. For the most part, a man does not mentally calculate the chances of impregnating a woman who offers herself for sex to try and determine if she has the necessary traits he might find desirable in a mother to his offspring. His preference may be for a 5ft 8 blond who is voluptuous, but he is not going to say no to sex with a 5ft 2 brunette who is skinny.

A man does not think about women in terms of raising his children until he feels an emotional connection to her. This is when he starts to determine if the traits she exhibits would work for his creation of a “family” as opposed to a simple sexual partner. Otherwise, for men, sex is a recreational pursuit driven by his basic biology to take as many chances as he can to potentially breed any available woman who offers, in the hopes his seed takes root and his genetic material is passed to the next generation.

I have often thought what a woman’s choices in mate selection mean in relationship to the men who do not measure up when it comes to height or penis size. Hundreds of thousands of years have gone into women developing a preference for bigger men on such a large scale that it has impacted the genetics of humans. I feel that due to the recent history of women being allowed to have greater public sexual freedom; choices to have sex with multiple men, sex before marriage, that women are exposed to penis size difference with much more frequency than they ever had at any point in human history. Once we donned clothes for modesty sake or moved to climates where covering up meant survival and new opportunity to explore and live in colder climates, it meant that women had to rely on men’s other attributes, besides penis size, to base her selection of him as a possible sexual partner and mate. But sexual liberation meant that she now could compare a mans penis to his height or muscle mass. She could determine if she wanted to be with a shorter man with a bigger penis or a taller man who was perhaps better looking but with a smaller endowment.

A man can hide his small penis behind the bravado of confidence when he is tall. He can impress everyone with his height, his work ethic, his good job and all the toys that come with power and privilege of his particular station and social peers. But what happens when he is naked and exposed? What happens to his credibility and confidence when he is at the gym and other men see his small penis in the showers? What happens when he dates and impresses a woman and then he becomes intimate with him and she sees that he is far less impressive than she was led to believe by viewing all of the other secondary sexual characteristic he has. What happens when it is discovered that the only huge thing the man actually possesses is the disparity between what people assumed he had and the reality of what he does have, between his thighs.

Finally, why is it so important?

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17 Responses to the bigger man

  1. njuri says:

    Well it is important to me. That’s why I believe in trying out the package before I’m actually stuck with it. Don’t know how people were virgins before marriage, I’ll bet a lot of them were surprised…

  2. mala says:

    Another amazing read… I agree with njuri… surprised and depressed, lol. I have had a tendency to date men around 6’4 for most of my life and I can honestly say that most of them were well endowed… apart from the biggest, broadest of them all, to whom I was engaged for a time… smallest penis I ever saw and I was too young at the time to really appreciate how important things like girth were (to me, anyway!)

  3. play613796 says:

    This is indeed another fascinating subject. The question you posed at the end is an excellent one. I think the importance of what you have described lies in our ability to attempt to understand the dynamics involved. Being a man with a small penis who has been rejected by several women due to the size of my penis, I have naturally thought about this a great deal. Is a woman “shallow” for desiring a man of sufficient size to please her? To be honest, there was a time when I thought so. But, today, I no longer feel that way. Is it simply a woman’s personal preference? Is her need biologically driven? Or, are the two connected, and her personal preference is biologically driven? I’m certainly no expert, but I think this may very well be the case. And, a related question I have pondered is, do women even understand their needs and preferences? You pose such thoughtful and fascinating questions for us to ponder. 🙂 

    • rougedmount says:

      i honestly think many women are completely unaware of their needs or even preferences…just like many men are angry about something they can’t change. this wasn;t even a topic i ever thought about until a few years ago…so for me its ‘all new’.

  4. Jake says:

    Why is it so important? You answered that question already, women have selected for it, thus natural selection makes it very important. Simple biology really.

  5. kdaddy23 says:

    Why is it important? It’s just another determining factor in that selection process, not to mention that that bigger thing between the thighs works well toward aiding in pregnancy – the deeper it can go, the closer to the cervix it can be when it goes off, the least amount of distance the explosive residue has to travel to meet the egg.

    Simple, right? Women have learned to equate size with pleasure so while a guy might have some impressive credentials, if he doesn’t have the size to match said credentials, well, what good is he?

    I liked the part where you said that men don’t think about the women they could impregnate and, yeah, we don’t. Because of the history of it all, which you so nicely outlined, our “job” was to spread the seed and the woman’s job was to think more about who was spreading it because of viability concerns, like healthiness of the male, physical strength then, later, intelligence.

    Yes, the biology is quite delicious, ain’t it? A very well-written blog – I really enjoyed it!

  6. daytightliving says:

    I’ve been around the block a few tiems.

    I’ve had monster ones, big ones, average ones, smaller ones and I’ve even had one teeny-tiny one … and I have to say I am not overly impressed by a huge penis. I may not even be impressed much at all.

    In fact sometimes I’m a little scared, and sometimes more than a little. My first thought is usually, “owwwwwwww.” :-/

    I’ve actually been physically hurt by some bigguns in the past, so maybe that’s why. Not being able to sit down comfortably or walk properly the day after isn’t fun for me, and I’ve experienced both.

    It also makes doing an*l totally out of the question for me. That hurts as it is! Someone who’s got a big one ain’t getting NEAR there with it. All the patience and slowness in the world can’t mitigate that.

    I don’t know … I’m just not crazed for a big giant one. “Big enough” is just fine for me. It’s about how both of our parts fit together — and of course about the ability of both of us to tend to each other’s needs willingly, not just our own.

    I will admit, since I’m anon here, that my current (and I hope forever) partner is not exceptionally well-endowed. In fact that was my ex-H’s first incredulous remark when he discovered me cheating: “HE’S GOT A SMALL PENIS!” [Note: selfies at my age = ill-advised. saving to your phone even less so. :-/]

    That was followed by: “…and he’s not even good-looking.”

    Both of which are totally untrue to me; besides, IMO, a sizable penis doesn’t make up for selfishness, childishness and greed, inside or outside the bedroom.

    My partner is well aware that relatively speaking, he’s not hung like a … a what, a horse? I don’t even know the right expression, lol. He alludes to it occasionally and I hate it, because it means it bothers him, and there’s no reason why it should.

    Because I couldn’t care less. Because we fit together like a lock and a key, and our sex is pleasurable and fulfilling and amazing. I want it all the time. Which I never, ever thought I would feel again.

    He’s also an incredibly skilled and attentive lover, in the ways that maybe some men with not-huge ones are, and I could not ask for more in any respect. I adore him and will be happy to live with slight discomfort the day after if the tradeoff is having sex 3 or 4 times a day when I can see him … and the ability to have an*l and not want to scream or cry from the pain. I feel like his parts were made just for me (tongue included! ;-).

    And yes, the teeny-tiny one was just sad. A great guy in many other respects, but I realized how it felt to wonder, ‘is it in yet?’ He’s now married with 2 kids so I guess it works ok, lol. Maybe his wife is wrapped up tighter than a gift on Christmas Day. 😛

    • rougedmount says:

      this comment is EXACTLY what the majority of women feel ” I feel like his parts were made just for me”…I TRULY believe that when you find a partner who is the “lock to your key” his size is perfect because its perfect for YOU! SO …when a man mentions that he is not large, that he is smaller than average, it is really completely unimportant because he “fits” exactly as he should and if he were bigger he would not be the exact match your body wanted. PLUS listen to all the amazing traits you listed…not a single woman in the world would trade off any of them for an additional inch or 2 that she didn’t care about anyway. I think I am sounding ambivalent about the topic at I am not. I adore the fact (and understand it completely) that your lover is perfect for you. When you have it,else nothing compares

  7. Chris says:

    You’ve covered a lot of ground here. I’m with you on height (taller generally being better) being an important selection characteristic, and penis size (larger generally being better) also having some importance. Women also probably have more say today in their choice of lovers and husbands than they have at any other point in time in the past 5,000-8,000 years.

    There are a few details in your article I’d quibble with, but I’d miss the point and be a distraction if I did so. Since I wasn’t here 60,000 or 100,000 years ago either, there’s no certainty in my facts, understandings, and suppositions either, and there’d likely be no way to sway you.

    As to why it’s so important, I’d say that comaprison to male peers either in terms of penis size or other characteristics occupies much more of the thoughts, attention, fears, and aspirations of men than it does women. Even that doesn’t stop a fair number of men from having poor posture and, as a result, looking shorter and less fit than they really are. It also doesn’t stop some notable number of men from being lazy,selfish, or inattentive lovers, and, as a result, underutilizing whatever long and thick blessing, teenie weenie curse, or average-Joe dong they may have between their legs.

    Sure it’s important to most women, but beyond those little-understood primal urges, not so much in ways that we see in everyday life today.

    • rougedmount says:

      i completely agree that a mans size matters far more to other men than it does to “most” women, being the competitive creatures that you are. but it does matter to us even if its on a subconscious level. the biggest difference between is is women have a more holistic approach to men. we see not JUST his package..but the ENTIRE package of him as a man..he is measured by so much more than his cock size.

      • Chris says:

        Absolutely true. A couple of years ago, I had a candid conversation about penis size with a female friend in her early-30s. She said that she has known a few women who said it was very important to them, but that among her current circle of friends it just isn’t a topic of much concern. They talk a lot about shoes or how their husbands and boyfriends don’t listen to them. They know mostly what they like from a whole-package standpoint, and none of her single friends are looking for a walking penis of any particular size.

  8. jb8884 says:

    I actually thought about this today when I was in the locker room. When I had to quickly turn towards the lockers and put a towel on to hide my little pecker.

  9. Glenn says:

    I guess I’m the only one who can see the contradictions in what you write. You write a whole post telling us how women are biologically programmed to want a tall man with a big penis and then say forget all that, women care more about the whole package. So what was the point of the post other than to make guys who are small (except for ones who seem to get off on this stuff) to feel like shit?

    • rougedmount says:

      1. you are not ‘special’ in the fact that you can discover contradictions in what i write when others can’t. Perhaps you haven’t read as much of what I have written. I clearly state there is a contradiction and I write about WHY I have it in depth.

      2. nothing i write is designed to make anyone ‘feel like shit’ unless I direct a rant towards someone specific. The posts are easy to find as I normally title them with the word “RANT” at the beginning. How you feel about your penis and resulting sexual relationships with women is on YOU and not me, so don’t try and deflect anger towards me or to hold me accountable for your idiosyncrasies.

      3. let me reiterate: this blog is a combination of truth, reality, poetry, fantasy, ideals, anger, working through my own issues and ideas and trying to make sense of who i am. i have NO need to offer veiled attacks on someone or make people feel badly.i do not put my need to vent before others feelings and why i say truthful things about my world in here…where i am not known…

      4. the point of the post? was because i write for myself and not an audience. i have no ‘niche market’ i work at keeping or expanding on. my posts and the content are as eclectic as i am. i write about whats inside of my mind and its why there is such variety of topics.

      5. my advice to you is to try and gain perspective. i don;t know you, i am not familiar with anything you have written to give me insight into your life or experiences. i do not jump towards being accusatory of others just because they may have triggered topics that i find hard to read about. i try to use it as a way to delve deeper into an understanding of myself as to why i am so sensitive on the topic and i try to work through it so i can come out a better person. i suggest you try and do the same.

  10. Glenn says:

    I wasn’t deflecting my anger at you. I was just making a point about something I saw in your writing. If you have pointed out the contradictions in your writing then I must have not seen it but then I haven’t read all your posts.

    Still the fact is it’s not just you that have these contradictions most women do at least those that choose to talk about penis size. More often then not I hear women spew the whole “it’s not the size it’s what you do with it” or the “if you love the man and he compensates for his small penis then size doesn’t matter”. Then as soon as they have a big dick in front of them all that goes out the window.

    “How you feel about your penis and resulting sexual relationships with women is on YOU and not me” if it’s on me then I would choose to live a society that doesn’t view men with small penises as nothing more than a joke. But I can’t.

    I didn’t mean to imply that you were attacking me but when you write something and post it on the internet in such a way that anyone can read it then you can’t be surprised when people indeed do read it and sometimes words have consequences.

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