monogamist

I am a serial monogamist

I have had no desire for multiple partners

I use the attention from other men

To arouse me for the one I am with

I use their sexual energy

And transfer it to the man

I am committed to

Having sex is easy

Giving your body to be used

Does not excite me

It’s being taken

By someone who wants more

Who wants that emotional connection

That’s my weakness

A man who offers his heart

And wants to share his body with you

As a way to get closer to you emotionally

I do not need sex from men who want me

Simply because they want me

Women who do that

Have no respect for their bodies

And have damage in their hearts

Being treated like a whore

Without the benefit of money exchange

I give myself to someone

I gift them with the exchange

Because I think there is substance there

Something I want to keep

Long after the relationship ends

It means I don’t have multiple partners

Sex is a basic human need

But so is love

And many women get the two confused

They get so intertwined

And can cause so much damage

That untangling them

Can take a lifetime

Leaving confused partners

In the wake of self repair

As much as I want to think I am open

Sexually my freedom is reserved

For the partner I want to gift my sensual nature to

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16 Responses to monogamist

  1. jb8884 says:

    I’m confused haven’t you let men other than your husband inside you?

  2. jayne says:

    Don’t you think that our experiences and how they form of concepts of what is “true” is such an interesting process? To me, I had a narrow and rigid definition of love which I’ve found to be more of a straightjacket to me rather than the warm jacket I used to believe it was. Relationships CAN be so complicated when ill-matched which stretched the hell out of my beliefs about love in all directions – to and from. Anyway, these words made me believe that you have defined and refined what love is to you through experience, which in turn, polishes your resolve. Beautiful.

  3. jb8884 says:

    I think what you are going through is something that many women that engage in long term relationships with under endowed men go through

  4. I felt surprisingly conflicted by this piece and I’m not sure why. I’ve always considered myself a serial monogamist, but I absolutely cheated, and I did it without regret. Now I’m in this new thing and am unsure that I’ll ever commit completely (emotionally, sexually, etc) to another man again. Part of me wants to take little pieces from several different partners in order to save myself from ever having to go through this pain again.

    • rougedmount says:

      ugh…i understand completely as so much of me feels the same way. but i can feel the pull of monogamy. i do not consider my marriage a sexual relationship as it hasn’t been for 20 yrs. If anything THIS relationship would be the one that would occasionally disrupt any other one I had…simply as I do what I must to maintain the status quo until I leave.

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