I read an article that had some major points that I took away from it, that simply made sense to me.
Men stop having sex because of what they are thinking. And a man’s thoughts about not having sex fall into three primary categories:
Men often avoid sex to prevent themselves from being emotionally intimate because doing so will force up some feelings they don’t want to deal with. In our society men are not conditioned to know how to process strong emotion so they tend to either bottle up, or blow up. If your man is dealing with something he doesn’t want to feel he may be avoiding intimacy with you.
Yes, men withhold sex because they’re angry; more specifically, because they are holding on to resentments or judgements, including self-judgement. Men typically don’t talk about these resentments or self-judgements but over time, they accumulate and can act as a barrier to sex for a man who is holding them inside.
Many men are floating through life in a state of melancholy, unwilling to passionately engage with anything or anyone. These men are grieving a major transition in their lives and are blocked in a feeling they don’t want to feel because it is painful for them. So they resist feeling it and as a result become disconnected from feeling any emotion fully. Ambivalence can also occur in a man who is emotionally spent. I see a few men in my practice who because of work insecurity, financial instability and relationship pressure are emotionally and energetically “tired,” and therefore uninterested in sex.
A man’s greatest sex organ is his mind. Seduce him with understanding and you will ignite his libido. Listen to your man for what is ailing him and reaffirm his masculinity by letting him know that you believe he is strong enough to sort through any blocks in his way. Lubricate his resistance with empathy.
And when all this fails…and when you’ve tried it all and done it all…then you must accept the fact you can’t make somebody love you or want you. Maybe its time to look for someone who does…