Children… i have them. I may not always want them now that they are older teens…but at this point no one would want to adopt them, so they are mine until they get girlfriends. I intend on loving their girlfriends in hopes they decide to move in together and live somewhere else. Strangely enough, placing fruit loops in the toilet bowl to give them something to aim at, is no longer amusing to an 18 year old. Then again, never having been an 18 year old male, I can’t imagine what its like trying to pee with an erection. Considering their aim, I would assume they have one (an erection), most of the time; which again, is something a girlfriend could assist them with.
I love the idea of a blended family. In a future partner, I would require a man with children as 1. he understands what i just said and 2. he will know about selfless love and sacrifice. Plus if we were to meet, fall in love, decide to live together and eventually move to Florida, I love the idea of a large extended family coming to visit during March break, so I have an excuse to go to Disney and dress up like a princess. And lets face it, with more children, there will be an improved chance of my having more grandchildren. I’m just increasing the odds. I miss chubby little baby snuggles. A teenage boy acts like you are trying to inject him with the Ebola virus if you try to hug him. Plus I want to inspire granny envy in others.
Which leads me back to older teenagers eventually getting girlfriends, getting married and having babies. Chances are anytime between now and 12 years, that’s going to happen for me. I will become a grandmother. A GRANDMOTHER. I just had an image of “Granny” on the Beverley Hillbillies, flash in my head. WHEN did I get old enough to be a grandmother? I am POSITIVE I just threw away my last nursing bra. Okay maybe not, but these last 15 years have literally gone by in a blur that had nothing to do with the alcohol I may or may not have consumed to get me through certain days.
A few days ago at 7:30 am, I made myself my morning coffee and thought “ wow! This is like the best coffee EVER” as I sat down at the computer to work, feeling pretty good, giggling over something on Facebook, coffee half gone…I realized I had poured a generous portion of Baileys Irish Cream into my morning coffee! Well if that isn’t indicative of my general distraction, I don’t know what is. Not being one to waste things, in the interest of purely economical reasons, I finished it, of course…but by 10 am, I had to have a nap. I am sure it was coincidence and not alcohol related, at all.
I find that I am at the point of my life where not only are my children about to change their lives and gain new freedoms, but so am I. There has been a gradual and studied shifting of priorities and expectations over the last 3-4 years in preparation. I am travelling more for business. They are practicing all I have preached; I am returning and correcting then guiding the bumps that come with their learning true independence. Then I depart again and repeat. Its working better than I could have hoped for even while experiencing some major issues along the way.
I am learning that biting my lips to keep from saying something in anger or frustration, saves me money on having lip injections done. Over the next 2 years, I may end up needing lip reduction surgery unless I take preventative action by drinking Baileys in my coffee each morning. So in reality, my drinking before 8 am, is really about fiscal responsibility. I guess I know what I`m bringing back from the duty free shop when I return home from my next trip. No officer, I don’t have 20 bottles alcohol in my suitcase, its actually an action plan in liquid form, I have older teenage males living at home, you see. I bet I get waived through.